Null
by The Wrath of Confidential Ness
Summary: The battle is brewing between StarClan and the Dark Forest. The kit who was taken over by Cinderpelt's reincarnated soul has been born into a corrupt, fake StarClan. No cat, be they alive or dead or something in between, will escape unscathed. Please R&R
1. A Prologue of Sorts

It was an unguarded moment. The large tabby tom sat silent and immobile at the gnarled roots of a shadowy tree, looking as vunerable and lost as an abandoned kit. Which he had been, earlier in life.

He didn't move when the darmp ferns a few fox-lengths away swayed; but when the broad giner-and-white she-cat cut neatly out of them, he started violently and snarled. 'Mapleshade?' he said in a startled, horrified tone, but quickly refined himself. 'Mapleshade,' he meowed smoothly, calmly licking his ruffled pelt. 'Greetings.'

'I don't have time for suave, dramatic cliches today.' She spoke in a harried tone that challenged him to argue. 'I don't want to have to cope with the exxagerated expressions and the evil laughs, all right?'

'Um… sure.' Tigerstar wasn't used to speaking informally. He liked to be a smoothly imposing figure. 'What do you want?'

'Have you won over Tawnypelt?'

He winced a little. 'This isn't your affair. I don't plan to involve you in it-'

'So she refused?'

'Well… I can change that.'

'Your daughter's mindset, or the plans that exlude me?'

'Mapleshade, this has nothing to do with you whatsoever,' he snapped, standing to match her height. 'I don't need her, anyway. Our plan doesn't require a weak she-cat. _Any _weak she-cats.'

'Did I ever tell you I can't stand misogyny?' She paused. 'Now you've got me speaking in cliches too. I never knew that it could be so infectious-'

'Mapleshade.' Her name becomes a desperate plea. 'I can do this. I failed last time, but I won't let anyone down anymore.'

'And what about StarClan?'

'They aren't a threat yet.'

'No, they're too concerned with the love life and imminent death of the ThunderClan medicine cats. But they won't be a pushover forever.'

'I can do this!' he snarled. 'Scourge, the dog pack, TigerClan- those were kit's fantasies. But you can trust me now. _Please. _I swear that I won't fail this time.'

A fleeting silence.

'I don't believe you. But we have time. Don't screw up too badly, Tigerstar. I really don't enjoy treating you like a kit.' Mapleshade turned to push back through the bracken.

'How did you find me?' he called after her arrogantly. An attempt to recover the pride he'd lost begging. 'We're supposed to be on our own.'

'We aren't supposed to visit or watch living cats. You've broken the boundaries. Tigerstar. This place is getting less like a prison every day.'

She disappeared, and her mediocre scent vanished with the tip of her tail. Tigerstar stared at the unshaken patch of fern, then ran his claws over the glowing moss he sat on.

_The love life and imminent death of the ThunderClan medicine cats… _

'The cripple,' he hoped.

StarClan was tranquility personified. Placeonified? Spottedleaf puzzled over it for a moment, then shook it off. It was only a passing thought. It had no significance. Nothing did in the afterlife.

She was crouched among some eye-wateringly silver bushes, the tantalizing scent of prey that would turn out to be tasteless flooding her nose. The bloodless corpse of her untouched squirrel was scratchy under her paws. All around her, the façade of the utopian StarClan was shining in a way that never shut off when she closed her eyes.

She hated it here. The whole thing seemed so unhealthy, sinister, so _fake, _that it made her uneasy. There was a rule against saying _dead, _because it upset so many cats. Her exchanges with other cats were painfully superficial; speaking about the wellbeing of the Clans below was frowned upon because their duty was to sit up here and sparkle while the wise goodness of the five founders worked things out. While cats below died in vain, fighting for pride and barbaric supersticion.

As a 'special' cat (she still hadn't worked out what made her special; the other dead medicine cats didn't have any particular jobs) she had to make regular checks on the pools that they looked at the Clans through. She saw a lot more of them than she would have liked. Some cats she knew in StarClan she couldn't look in the eyes any more.

She tossed aside the squirrel and rose stiffly, her face void of inner conflict. The seeing-pool was only a few foxlengths away from the sprawling bushes; she glanced into it and frowned at the misty moorland. Nightcloud dashed sharply across it in pursuit of an elusive rabbit. 'Working order,' she said out loud, out of habit.

It was mid-day, and the pale, cold, bright sun was bursting overhead, but she had little else to do for the day. Spottedleaf retreated into the garish bush and curled up to nap.

She dreamed that she was a mouse, and she was doomed to be caught by a Clan cat and go to StarClan, only to be captured and eaten there and return to the mortal ground; she ran furiously, unrefined terror controlling her flimsy body, desperate not to feel the teeth on her back and the claws on her side, desperate not to become a bloody pulp gulped down into monstrous jaws; but she knew she was helpless, she would never live, death was unavoidable but never bringing relief.

She ran frantically through the trees, unsure of where she was; she turned for a moment to see herself thundering towards the mouse body she was in. She fled, but felt her own claws impaling herself, and listened to the crunch of her own bone, under her own teeth.

She could smell her own scent, and she hungered for it.

'Spottedleaf!'

An insistent paw jabbed at her in the ribcage. The tortoiseshell moaned slightly and rolled over. 'I found her,' the owner of the paw called. 'Spottedleaf, get up right now.'

Her eyes flickered open. 'Uuurgh… you, you have to give me the… honeycomb… can I have some… wakey-upperey leaves?…'

'It isn't even evening yet,' the small tom leaning above her snapped. 'Spottedleaf, did you forget about Cinderpelt?'

'_Oh, my goodness!' _She sprang up instantly, furious with herself. 'Is she dead yet? Is it too late to reincarnate her?' Fear flitted across her face.

'Hurry up.' He turned without a word and began to race through the trees, leaving her to tear after him and worry furiously. They needed the last three ThunderClan medicine cats for the reincarnation ceremony; everyone (everyone high-ranking enough to have an opinion considered important) agreed that Cinderpelt deserved it, but it had to be done at the exact moment of death and birth.

They arrived panting and their pelts in disarray at the biggest seing-pool, where silvery stones shone under the pale sun. Cats were scattered anxiously among the trees; Bluestar (_do you have any idea how much I'd like to tear your throat open?_), Yellowfang and Featherwhisker were stiff and impatient at the shores. Spottedleaf raced frantically up to them. 'Is she dea-?'

'Not yet.' The silvery tom had his eyes fixed on the image in the water, of Sorreltail straining and in pain, of Cinderpelt battered and bleeding, whispering hoarsely to Leafpool.

'Begin the ceremony,' Bluestar said quietly, giving a nod to Featherwhisker. He stepped forward and bowed his head.

'Tonight, we of StarClan have assembled to witness both the pain and suffering of death, and the hope and purity of new life. We hope to intertwine the two, and give this deceased cat an opportunity for a second life of both improvements and new misfortunes.' He stooped to swallow a single gulp of icy starlight water.

Spottedleaf knew her cue. 'Tonight, we of StarClan forsake the innocent life of an unborn, and bestow upon it the refreshened soul of a cat gone. We give up the memories of this previous life; the knowledge gained, the losses endured, the pleasures forgotten. May this cat carry her name.' She stepped forward and sipped at the pool.

Yellowfang was to finish. 'Tonight, we of StarClan allow stilled paws to walk the earth once more; we allow glazed eyes to see, and all that was thought irretriviably lost to be given to this hostess. We give Cinderpelt the opportunity of a second life, to shed her light and thoughts over the four Clans; we reincarnate her, and allow her to do the rest.' She dipped her scarred muzzle into the pool.

It was done. The whole of the corrupted StarClan stilled for a moment.

Then the wind, with the carried scents of jasmine and hope and fire and ice and dusk, stirred up again. Spottedleaf stared tensely at the pool, suddenly feeling insecure about her role in the ceremony. If they had begun too late, it was their fault, and neither Cinderpelt nor her failed reincarnation would live a moment longer, or return to the afterlife.

Bluestar leaned into the pond and muttered something. It clouded for an instant, then flickered into an image of a terrified-looking Cinderpelt crouched amongst a colorless forest. The place that freshly-dead cats went to, to be held until another StarClan member arrived to escort them into their new territory.

Cinderpelt shifted, and her mouth dropped unnatrually wide. Blood began to seep out of her eyes, and she disentigrated into the insubstancial grass.

On the earth, Sorreltail leaned over her writhing kits. The one that had been still a moment ago was now making her way to the swollen teats. She sighed in contentment, willing herself to not look over at her medicine cat's body.

Spottedleaf gazed into the pool, frowning at the blurred image. Across from where Cinderpelt had huddled, there was a tiny dark brown she-kit, pelt slick with fluids and blood, eyes firmly closed.

'Did it work?' Bluestar's voice was high. 'The reincarnation. Did it-?'

'Not the way we wanted it to.' Yellowfang turned away from the water and faced them. 'Cinderpelt's been reborn. But the kit who was supposed to become her…'

They stared down at the shivering kit.

'She's died. But she never lived.'

Greenflower says I'm a special kit. I'm the only one that gets bigger, out of all the other kits here. I like being special.

I'm not allowed to look in the pools yet. I don't know why. I really want to. Last time I tried to, Dappletail stopped me but I bit her really really hard. Greenflower says I could have made her fade but I didn't get in any trouble. That made me happy. Greenflower treats me nice.

Like the other day Snowkit had a big magpie and I wanted it so I took it away. Snowkit jumped on me even when I said I wanted it and I scratched him really big. Greenflower let me have the magpie. I don't know why Snowkit tried to stop me, because everyone gives me what I want, but I think it's cos he's stupid and can't hear right, so he didn't know I wanted it. He would have given it to me if he knew I wanted it.

I like to play with the other kits but they're stupid and they say I hurt them. I attack them if they don't let me play games, and once a kit got me back. She scratched me a lot, but Greenflower got really mad and hurt her lots and she told me it was revenge. I haven't seen her. I think they took her away because she was mean to me.

I'm smarter than all the other kits. I'm the only one that gets big. One day I'll be a big cat and I'll fade all the Dark Forest cats and they'll all go away. I bet Greenflower could make them go away if I asked her but I want to fade them all myself. It might be lots of fun and that would be good.


	2. Chapter 1

**A/N No reviews. Can't say I don't care, so please review? Stories get buried really quickly on here. **

**So, completely ruined my formatting. Originally there was a large gap between the POV switches, so I apologize for confusion. The last section was supposed to be Rainkit's point of view. To clear up possible uncertainty, Rainkit IS indeed Sorreltail's unborn kit, who wasn't supposed to come to StarClan. I assume she was named for Rain putting out fire and resulting in cinders. Um, no, that won't have any symbolism anywhere, nor will it be a cheesy prophecy. This story will hopefully be cheese-free… I don't even like to eat cheese… anyway. **

**Please, please, please, please review. I'm very young and this is the first time my writing has been put up online, and I would love to know what you think. Even if you think it's Narmful and badly characterized and canon rape and with horrible prose. Tell me! **

Chapter One

Rainkit woke in the night, a shaft of cold moonlight dappling the tiny bodies around her. Instinctively she began to stretch my stiff limbs, hissing slightly when she noticed Greenflower was curled reverently around her. Rainkit distangled herself from her infatuated foster mother's grasp and slipped away from her neglected pelt. Greenflower could be so stifling sometimes.

The kit's area was wide and frosty in the midnight; pale stars were tumbled amongst the disarray of ferns, and a shallow expanse of stream was rippling and inky black. Rainkit glanced once around the dark clearing surrounded by arching silver forest, then padded aimlessly to the wading-depth stretch of river.

She had been in StarClan for eight moons. It wasn't supposed to be pointed out, but she grew; more intelligent, and more advanced, physically the size of an apprentice.

She was quite large but relatively slender; her dark brown pelt was a solid color, unbroken by ripples of stripes. Her eyes were expressionless and emerald-green, with complex layers of texture and gold. She wasn't naïve, but had no idea of the way she seemed to everyone else; she appeared just slightly off and _wrong; _something about how she moved and spoke and looked, that put most cats off. Expect Greenflower, and a few other queens.

She dabbled a single paw, pale claws unsheathed, in the icy dark water. Freezing droplets flicked onto her nose and face; she winced and drew back with an indignant splutter.

Her younger-kits nest (due to official ignorance of her growth, she was forced to remain there) smelt of stale milk and desperation. The nests were frequently soiled; most nights, the tiny kits awoke writhing, screeching of nightmares of their deaths. It irritated her. Once when a tiny gray kitten approached her for comfort, she had practically sliced his face open. She gave a little giggle remembering his shocked howls and Greenflower's fury at her favourite kit's sleep being disturbed. That kit was another one who she assumed had been taken away for being nasty to her.

She rarely left the kit's area. A few times she had sneaked away to the apprentice's area, where interchangeable young cats battled each other and played forgettable tricks on their weary 'mentors', She felt out of place. Not exactly disdainful, but out of place.

From far away in the silver forest, she heard a faint laughter-filled yowl. Most StarClan cats half-slept during the day, drifting in and out of mousechase dreams to check the seeing-pools. They were active at night, hunting and speaking and haunting dreams, not willing to let frays of memories fade, taking them with it. Kits, however, were considered too feeble-minded to deviate from their routines in life.

Rainkit clawed once at the ground. She didn't belong here.

…

'Y-you asked for me?' Spottedleaf said uncertainly, slipping into Bluestar's tranquil den. The gray-blue she-cat was sitting primly in a neat nest of pale moss and firm bracken; a bloodless squirrel lay in front of her.

'Yes. I did.' Bluestar said no more, her dark eyes fixed on the slender tortoiseshell as she shuffled her paws and sat lightly on the sand. 'Have you met Rainkit, Spottedleaf?'

She had to look away. 'No.' She had intentionally shied away from seeing the kit.

'She appears to be growing older. I've spoken to Dappletail and Brindleface, and they both tell me-'

'Are you going to punish me, Bluestar?' Spottedleaf couldn't help breaking in, not wanting the unease of an ambiguous threat.

Her former leader looked genuinely shocked and wounded. 'No! Why do you think… I'd never…' Her eyes found Spottedleaf's once more. 'What must you think of me?'

'That you lie to us,' she said softly. 'That you prevent us from knowing what's really going on inside the founder's head, and that you make everything for us appear perfect and don't even acknowledge- the, the Dark Forest threats, the tension, the murders-'

'The technical term is forced fading,' Bluestar corrected her.

'Forced fading?' Spottedleaf couldn't keep the heat out of her voice. 'Bluestar, scores of innocent StarClanners have gone missing, even more who dared speak against you- and you don't even care! Most are carried out by you and your… um… cats who carry out.' Flustered, but enjoying Bluestar's shocked look, she went on: 'The Clans are in constant flux and danger. It's our job to look after them, but you're even censoring the seeing-pools now!'

'How did you-'

Spottedleaf glared at her. 'What did you want to speak to me about?'

Bluestar rose to her feet, lashed her tail furiously, and opened her jaw only to hesitate and instead mew, 'Rainkit should be transferred to the apprentice area.

'So, you finally decide to do something about it,' the tortoiseshell she-cat snapped. 'Congratulations. I'm sure you're redeemed.'

Bluestar just gazed at her, her eyes wistful. 'What happened to _you, _Spottedleaf? You used to be so… enthusiastic, innocent, naïve, playful… you were so idealistic…'

Spottedleaf looked incredulously back at her. 'Thinking for myself is not a bad thing. You want to move Rainkit to the apprentice area.' The change of subject wasn't concealed.

'…yes. I wanted to know if you agree.'

'Why does my opinion matter?'

'Haven't you always been a crucial member of my discussions?' She tipped her head.

_Not lately. _'I'd like to meet her first,' Spottedleaf said through gritted teeth. 'I think it's time I finally see her, anyway.'

'Do that.' Bluestar gave a dissmissive nod. 'But know that… there'll be consequences for what you said today.'

The words froze Spottedleaf. _I'm not ready for this! _she wailed inside, feeling her stomach churn in nausea. She had always reacted like this when her actions caught up to her. 'Yes, Bluestar,' she forced out in a mutter, then escaped outside.

Despite her regret for what she had just said, exhileration soared through her.

….

'Somebody wants to see you, Rainkit.'

Greenflower poked her head through the den entrance, squinting in the shadows of the arched branches overhead to make out her foster kit. Rainkit was sprawled out on her squashed nest, playing lazily with a scrap of moss.

'Who is it?' Rainkit swivelled her head to stare, seemingly incriminating, at the pale golden she-cat.

'A medicine cat. If you… wouldn't mind?'

With a grudging sigh, Rainkit raised herself from her nest and padded out into the kit area. 'I've never met a medicine cat.'

'It might be interesting!' Greenflower burbled, dashing to keep at her side.

'I wasn't being pessimistic. Merely pointing out a neglected factor of my life thusfar.' Seeing her foster mother's expression, she muttered 'Never mind.'

A slender, pretty tortoiseshell she-cat was sitting near the fresh-kill pile, her pelt splattered with various shades of white and her eyes serious and worried. Her face lit up in confused recogniton when she spotted Rainkit.

'This is her,' Greenflower purred, nudging Rainkit forward. 'Isn't she beautiful?'

Spottedleaf examined the young she-cat. She wasn't particuarly good-looking, and something about her made Spottedleaf's skin crawl,, but… 'She looks just like she did as a kit,' she meowed, unable to keep the rasp of a purr from her voice. 'Good morning, Rainkit. My name's Spottedleaf.'

Rainkit returned the searching look, her eyes carefully and intensely studying Spottedleaf's own in a way that sent shivers down her spine. 'Hi,' she said finally. 'How do you know me?'

Spottedleaf blinked. 'I, uh, saw you once as a kit. And I went down to collect you from the holding area.'

_Holding area. Kit. She knows me. _Rainkit's heart began racing. 'Oh,' she managed. 'Did… you come to speak to me?'

Spottedleaf nodded once. 'Excuse me, Greenflower, is there a place..?'

The golden tabby nodded towards the forest. 'That should be fine. Be good to Rainkit.' After hesitating, she padded off to scold a little tomkit for hitting another kit with a mouse.

'So, what is it you want?' Rainkit meowed when they were settled underneath a pale oak tree.

Spottedleaf frowned. What _was _it she wanted? She had only come here to meet the kit, not to specifically inform her of anything. So far, she knew nothing; Rainkit appeared coolly neutral so far. She had to tell her about the apprentice area. 'Do you like living in the kits' camp?' she meowed experimentally.

Rainkit's eyes flashed. 'I get condescended to daily, I'm the biggest one here, the kits are imbeciles, Greenflower never lets me out of her sight. I know I'm not.. really that bad off, but it still…'

Spottedleaf nodded. 'Do you go out much?'

'What are you, a therapist? I go in the woods a little, but kits are too impressionable or whatever to do anything.' Rainkit glared, hunched up, at the ground for a moment, then looked back at Spottedleaf.

'Rainkit, we're going to put you in the apprentice area.'

…

'And you didn't consider that I may still not have made a final decision?'

Bluestar glared at the frozen she-cat, her claws unsheathed and tearing at her nest.

Spottedleaf struggled to conceal her terror. 'Yes,' she meowed, her voice almost steady. 'I did, but it wasn't an act of intentional rebellion.'

'Unlike your outburst yesterday,' Bluestar snapped. 'Spottedleaf, you are not worthy of my trust.'

'All I did was tell her she was transferring! We shouldn't make such an outcry about an obvious, trivial-'

Her words were silenced when Bluestar sprang onto her without warning, claws flaying at her ears and mouth. Spottedleaf splat out clumps of blood and with a moan fell to the ground; Bluestar slashed at her side, tearing off scraps of pelt and exposing bloodied fat. Spottedleaf let out a single cry before the gray cat ripped her throat open with a slick red paw. Her protests died into silence.

Bluestar sprang off her and stared almost wistfully at the warm corpse. 'I'm sorry,' she meowed. 'I'm not the villian you think I am, you know.'

The body faded, leaving only the sand slightly damp.

**A/N So, not a great chapter. Very… padded. Nothing happened, except for infodump on Rainkit. Don't worry, in chapters later on she's going to get a personality beyond formalness. Please review and tell me what I could do better. PLEASE.**


	3. Chapter 2

**I got a review! Thank you amazing generous worthy-of-worship Samus Linkin, who completely lies about my story. I am aware of the numerous flaws and of how limited a writer I am, and I apologize for that. But critique would be fantastic. Any review would. Stories do get buried easily on here, so I'm going to update frequently. At least it's school holidays right now in Australia. Yes, I am Australian. No, I do not fit any Australian stereotypes. **

…**not that it matters. Anyway, this is the chapter Rainkit hopefully gets a personality. Also the plot begins, instead of a whole chapter of: **

**Rainkit: angst angst angst angst DIE, KIT, DIE angst angst angst **

**Bluestar: -twirls evil moustache- I've been expecting you… **

**Spottedleaf: Yeah? Well, you, you, you SUCK! Oh no! Whatever shall become of me? **

**Greenflower: I LOVE RAINKIT. **

**Rainkit: -nothing of intrest- **

**Spottedleaf: So you're going to the apprentice area. (Finally getting to the one point of the chapter) **

**Bluestar:… WHAT? DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE… but I'm a good cat, you know. **

**Which is pretty much how I would sum up my story so far.**

**Review anyway, please. I allow non-members. **

The apprentice area was a gorge, the exposed rock a bright silver under the bursts of frilly moss. Rainkit surveyed it, excited despite her perception of it so far, noticing the thornless brambles, the pale bracken, the way stars were scattered amongst the rocks. Young cats swarmed over it; the noise of pointless chatter and frequent bubbles of laughter filled the entire gorge. She sighed slightly.

It was almost moon-high, and although StarClan was bright and gleamed in the moonlight, she was sleepy.

'Welcome!'

Both Rainkit and her foster mother jumped as an enthusiastic black tom leaped over the smooth edge, eyes bright. 'Hi! My name's Molewhisker, and welcome to the Apprentice Camp! What's your name, little one?'

'Rainkit.'

Molewhisker looked puzzled. 'Uh, sweetie, if you aren't an apprentice down _there-' _he pointed with his tail- 'you aren't an apprentice up here.'

Rainkit opened her mouth, eager to snap at the irritating tom, but Greenflower cut her off. 'Rainkit is extremely special,' she meowed as though that explained everything. 'She's Sorreltail's… the one who would have…'

'She's very big for a newborn kit,' Molewhisker said skeptically. 'Poor Sorreltail, squeezing that one out of her-'

Goldenflower coughed loudly and extended her tail to push Rainkit back. 'Could I speak to you for a moment? Rainkit, why don't you go and explore your new home?'

The young she-cat ducked out from behind her foster mother, and leaped eagerly to the edge of the gorge. She paused when she saw what an easy descent it was, with sprays of wildflowers from every crack. The safety appeared very transparant, as though it was only there for show.

She padded down the sloping side of the gorge, leaping back as a mouse tore in front of her. _Mice this close to the camp? _she wondered, then pushed it aside and continued to bound to the wide plain inside the gaping walls. Dens of bracken and twigs shone in the starlight, and a few calm-looking dens were tiny caves in the side of the wall. Rainkit shuflled her paws, hissing when an apprentice jostled against her and sprang again at his friend.

Rainkit lashed out a paw, extended claws slashing into the white tom's side. He looked comically bewildered for a moment, then whipped around to glare threateningly at the brown she-cat. 'What was that for?' he crowed, flustered.

She opened her mouth to retort, but he darted away to chase his battle partner. Rainkit seethed at the ground.

'Who are you?'

_Friendly cats. Fade me now. _'Uh,' she managed, 'I'm Rainkit. Paw! I'm Rainpaw. I assume.'

The tortoiseshell-and-white she-cat tipped her head. 'Hi.'

Rainkit shuffled her paws, humiliated and painfully aware she should say something. 'Hi.'

There was a pause, then the apprentice shrugged and bounded away, small paws graceful on the rocks. Rainkit stared at the ground, embarrasment giving way to bitter hatred. Why did she just walk away without introducing herself? That couldn't be polite. Anyway, she reassured herself, saying hi back was the polite thing to do. Did potential friends judge you on your etiquette? Rainkit felt a brief compulsion to tear her tongue out.

Greenflower called for her; Rainkit sprang to her feet and scrambled up the slope, her paws dislodging several flowers. 'Yes?' she said breathlessly, edging away from the canyon.

'You're Rainpaw now,' Molewhisker informed her bluntly. 'You'll live in the apprentice's camp with me and all your new friends! Are you excited?'

_Be happy. It's an improvement over moss-wetting kits who squeal endlessly if you claw them. _'Yeah, of course,' Rainpaw returned. _Happier! _'I mean, yes! It's the best thing ever! I can't wait to be an apprentice and talk and fight and… train… and do all that apprentice stuff! Apprentice! Yaaaaaaay!'

Greenflower swept her foster daughter closer to her. 'I'll miss you,' she mewed mistily. 'And all the other kits I look after… we all wish you well!'

_Very touching. _'Yes, I… shall miss you too. Goodbye.'

She tore away from the embrace and began to groom herself where Greenflower had flattened her fur. 'You're still my special kit,' Greenflower whispered. 'If you want anything… you know I'll get you whatever you want.'

'You've made that very clear,' Rainpaw said. 'Molewhisker, can we go?'

Greenflower looked a little hurt as the black tom began to claw down the gorge into the apprentice area, but Rainpaw was beyond caring. 'Do the apprentices have a seeing-pool?' she asked conversationally as they picked their way through the starry stones.

'There's one over that end-' he nodded towards the far end, 'but there's always a huge fight over it in the day, and at night all you can see is cats snoring!'

'So anyone can look in it? I've always wanted to, but only some kits got to go on excursions to the nearest one. I was never allowed.'

'Anyone!Over here is the den for younger tom RiverClan apprentices. That's the little slope, most cats find it to be excellent for pretend ambushes, as long as you don't dig it up. There's the ferny area, which is a good spot for prey if you feel lazy!'

'You can find prey inside camp?' Rainpaw asked cynically. 'That seems unlikely.'

'StarClan's perfect. That's the den for the mentors, though really we're just guardians, there isn't an apprentice-mentor system here!'

_What?_

'So, you don't go inside the mentor den, or their dirtplace. The younger shecat's dirtplace over there, you'll be using the other one, which is behind that den made of fern. Up this end is our little seing-'

Rainpaw burst forward excitedly, ripping through the crowd gathered around it and skidding at the edge. On the surface of the water, a middle-aged ginger she-cat was straining and huffing in the dirtplace, her rear end shoved out. _Ew. _Rainpaw wrinkled her nose as the young toms around her burst into cackling laughter.

'What are you looking at?' demanded Molewhisker, shoving to her side. 'Not now, Duckpaw,' he added to a sleek she-cat who was complaining that someone had cut her (Rainpaw smirked). 'Smokepaw, I told you that watching cats in the dirtplace is vulgar, rude and immature!'

Rainpaw nodded. _Stupid toms. _Her eyelids drooped.

'Molewhisker, you should've seen what she was up to with Firestar a moment ago in their den,' laughed a she-cat with a wheezy voice. 'For old cats, they're so very-'

The black tom dipped his muzzle into the pool, hissed 'ShadowClan nursery,' and stepped away. A picture of Tawnypelt laughing over her mewling kits swelled up on the water. 'I don't want you watching any of that!'

_Stupid she-cats, too, _she thought glumly.

'Sorry about that, Rainpaw,' Molewhisker said briefly, as the crowd died away. 'Some apprentices are ridiculous. Juvenile delinquents, always throwing frogs in the she-cat nests and getting caught sneaking away for catnip!'

Rainpaw nodded slowly, uncertain of what catnip was. 'Terrible. Um, what else is there?'

'That's where the female former medicine cat apprentices sleep, and that's the big rock with the fresh-kill pile…'

He glanced around. 'That's just about it.'

Rainpaw frowned, then felt a yawn bubble up in her throat.

'Are you tired?' he asked sympathetically. 'Greenflower told me you may have some problems adjusting to sleeping at day! I could show you to your den-'

'Yes… please,' muttered Rainpaw, suddenly exhausted. She tried to make another examination of the camp, but the stars and ferns and almost-full moon overhead blurred into a silver mush.

She stumbled up the other side of the canyon and crawled after Molewhisker into a small cave scooped out in the wall. The sand was cool on her paws and the numerous nests were abandoned.

Molewhisker snatched some material from the others and constructed a lopsided but sufficient nest for her. She clambered on top of the feathers and moss and stared at the blured glimpse of moon until she fell asleep.

'_I want Rainkit!' _

Greenflower was yowling hysterically, slashing at random at the concerned kits and queens who surrounded her.

'Greenflower!' cautioned a young silver tabby. 'Calm-'

'_Where's my Rainkit?' _Her paw flailed out to slice through the tabby's eye. She toppled, the colorless liquid thinning the pulse of blood from her socket.

Greenflower trembled on unsteady legs, her pelt slick with her own blood. '_My kit-' _She bent her head back to tear at her own flesh.

She was cornered in the den she used to share with Rainkit and the others, shaking and hysterical, the stiff body of a kit trapped under her paw.

'_You took Rainkit away from me!' _she snarled, a scrap of her own fur dangling from her mouth. '_Bring her back!' _Greenflower slashed at invisible enemies with her claws, eyes wide, terrified and furious.

The tabby queen stirred. 'Greenflower, don't-' A golden paw tore at her snout before she could wail any more.

Greenflower froze, panting heavily, her pelt ripped and stained with crimson. Then she collapsed, snuffling '_Give her back… I want my Rainkit back…' _

Her chest stilled, and Greenflower faded.

Rainpaw woke in early morning. Brilliant sunlight flooded through the cave entrance, making her squint and frown around. The tortoiseshell-and-white she-cat from earlier was there, sleeping silently, her nest clustered near those of other interchangable she-cats. Rainpaw stood and made her way through the minefield of nests, emerging in white sunshine that almost blinded her. She skid down the slope and hesitated before grudgingly taking a magpie from the fresh-kill pile. Prey tasted of splintered wood and bile and bitterness, but she was starving.

Rainpaw gulped the prey down, managing to surpress her gag, and hesitated before heading to the seeing-pool. It was a calm picture, the dawn patrol of WindClan returning to camp; she watched for a moment, then dipped her muzzle in the water and said uncertainly, 'ThunderClan apprentice den?'

She herself had been placed in a den with ThunderClan cats; from what Molewhisker had said, that had to mean that it was where she came from.

The image that flickered onto the pool held no sight she recognized. There was a dappled tabby she-cat with hopeful blue eyes; a large tortoiseshell she-cat with a restless tail; and a gray she-cat.

It was the gray one she couldn't help looking at. They were entirely different colors, but they had the same fluffiness, the same broadness of head, the same bushy tail that they held in the same way.

And although Rainpaw didn't know this, both she and Cinderpaw had a way of walking with one of their legs lagging, and a way of constantly flicking their eyes towards it, as though to ensure it was still there.

**So, Rainpaw becomes… SOCIALLY AWKWARD! And… she SEES CINDERPAW AND DOESN'T NOTICE ANYTHING ABOUT HER! Can you handle the gripping plot twists and the ****high-action plot? **

**Maybe I need to stop making fun of myself. Whatever. Review? **


	4. Chapter 3

**A/N I write fast. That is all. I've only just uploaded Chapter Two, but I'm going to keep writing because I have fuck all else to do. **

**Um, I am aware that my story isn't good. I'm trying to improve, but I know I'm not. I'm not giving up on this story, though, and I'll update frequently to burn my thirteen-year-old-girl-tries-to-write babbles into your brain. **

**Yes, I am thirteen, so that hopefully explains the chapters that go like this: **

**Rainkit: Yay! Apprentice area! I mean, booooo, I'm so ahead of them all, I feel so disdainful. **

**Molewhisker: ! happy!(: **

**Greenflower: sob, sob, sob, sob, sob, I'm completely not a pedophile **

**All other apprentices: -are not nearly as good as the Rainkit, who is now Rainpaw- **

**Rainpaw: NINJA SLASH! DIE, YOU INFERIOR APPRENTICE! MWAHAHAHAHAAHA! Disclaimer: This has no connection to the plot.**

**Greenflower: Plot? What plot? I WANT MY RAINKIT! WHERE'S MY RAINKIT! POINTLESS SCENE! NARMNARMNARM! GRAAAAR! –dies- **

**Rainpaw: hai thar, cinderpaw. **

**Anywaaay, I know I'm hard on myself, but it's the truth. **

'How'd you go on the assesment, Poppypaw?'

Cinderpaw scooped up a squirrel and sprang onto a boulder besides her littermates and Hazelpaw. The sun was warm but not vicious, easing her sore muscles and heating her pelt.

'Assessment?' Hazelpaw mewed, looking sideways at her best friend. 'Why did I not hear of this? Do you have something to tell me, Poppypaw?'

'I was there,' Molepaw told her. 'She failed. Epicly.'

Poppypaw playfully knocked him off the boulder. 'It was only climbing trees,' she said with a little sigh. 'But I didn't do well. As-' She glanced over the side of the rock at her brother. '-you can clearly tell.'

'We hunted,' Cinderpaw said, biting into her squirrel. 'Just so you know, dear sister, that vole you just knocked off the rock? I slaved over that vole for hours, I hunted and stalked and pounced, it practically mutilated my paw-'

'In that case, it doesn't deserve to be kicking around the dust,' Molepaw muttered, leaping back up onto their rock. 'This vole now gets pride of place of the boulder. Let's name it Squishy.'

Honeypaw pushed him off again. 'I was on dawn patrol,' she told Hazelpaw. 'I had to set off a fox trap. It was terrifying!'

'We know,' Cinderpaw said, rolling her eyes. 'You skipped into the den and woke us all up squealing about it.'

'And Poppypaw had an itchy tail,' added Molepaw, scrabbling up for the third time. 'She wouldn't shut up about it, either.'

'I might have if any of you had helped me scratch it!' Poppypaw defended herself.

Honeypaw snorted. 'Poppypaw, biting your tail first thing in the morning is _not _a healthy start to the day.'

**(Illegal A/N: Now I want to market a breakfast cereal called Poppypaw's Tail. Who would buy/bite?) **

…

'Rainpaw? What are you doing here?'

The dark brown she-cat span around to see Molewhisker, an adult she-cat, and a few apprentices watching her in puzzlement. 'What are you watching?' the she-cat asked pleasantly, but her tone had no effect on the way Rainpaw heard it; she froze incriminatingly, certain that she was going to be punished for overusing the pool.

_I don't really… know… _

A gray-brown tom apprentice darted around the she-cat and peered into the pool. 'It's boring,' he announced. 'Why watch this? There's way more interesting things, like what Smokepaw found for us yesterday-'

'Would you like to come on patrol with us, Rainpaw?' asked the she-cat loudly, effectively cutting off the tom's words. 'We heard you haven't been in the forest much. Around here it's all pine, which should be interesting for you.'

_Yes, previously my exciting adventures were just about limited to seeing a butterfly drown in the stream. _'I'd like to,' Rainpaw accepted. 'But, uh, you don't have to present everything like that… as though I'm not going to do it unless it holds some novel appeal…'

Molewhisker appeared to be humoring her. 'Yes, of course.'

As they padded out of the gorge, Molewhisker introduced her to the cats he'd bought on the patrol with her. Rainpaw began to suspect that it was more of a welcoming party than an essential patrol; Sweetpaw, the tortoiseshell-and-white cat she's noticed before, Tigerpaw, a glossy white she-cat apprentice and Frostpaw, a light gray tabby, are all she-cats she shares her new den with. Splashpaw is a black she-cat from RiverClan, and the only two toms there were the obnoxious gray-brown Thistlepaw, and pale cream-colored Redpaw, whose misnomer she had trouble adjusting to.

Sweetpaw and Thistlepaw flirted constantly, Frostpaw breaking in whenever she could. Tigerpaw bounded ahead, irritating Molewhisker and ginger-and-white Dawnbright with a rapid fire of questions. Redpaw trudged silently.

'What are we looking for?' Rainpaw asked finally, putting on a short burst of speed to catch up to Tigerpaw and the 'mentors'. She glanced appreciatively around the starry pine trees; they had a sweet scent that made her dizzy and slightly nauseous.

Dawnbright shrugged. 'There's no danger in StarClan. We just like to get apprentices out of camp.'

_Is that what they call "manipulating dead apprentices to do something completely useless" nowadays? _

Tigerpaw glanced over at Rainpaw with bold amber eyes. 'We might get to hunt,' she suggested, more to the mentors than her fellow apprentice.

'Sure, you might!' Molewhisker said brightly. 'Come this way, everyone.'

They trooped through a patch of crunchy ferns, the fresh scent making Rainpaw inhale deeply. Thistlepaw nudged at her from behind. 'Get a move on, Rainpaw!' he demanded, and something in his tone made her turn sharply and slash at his face.

Thistlepaw fell back, looking intimidated but suitably enraged. 'Psychopath!' he snarled at her, the blood dripping from his nose making his voice garbled. 'Look at what she _did _to me, Dawnbright!'

Rainpaw glared coolly at him. 'I thought apprentices were supposed to be able to _handle _cuts,' she snapped.

Molewhisker darted around her to Thistlepaw's side, giving her a lecture she'd heard a thousand times from Dappletail. She started violently when she heard a screech. 'What was that?'

Dawnbright swung her head around, eyes brimming with concern. 'It sounded like a cat-'

There was another howl of agony, reverbreating through the still forest and making Briarpaw flinch and draw back. Tigerpaw took off through the forest, Redpaw and Thistlepaw on her heels. Rainpaw hesitated, then raced after them, the silver pines flashing by.

Rainpaw had to pull herself to an abrupt halt to avoid crashing into Tigerpaw. The glossy white she-cat's eyes were wide with fear, and beside her Redpaw was slowly stepping back.

Bluestar looked up from a cat's corpse, her muzzle red, the side of the cat torn into.

Bluestar stood as the tom she was bent over writhed, letting out a short yowl that was cut off by gargles. 'This cat broke the code,' she meowed calmly to the horrified apprentices. 'He deserved less than a painful death.'

'What's wro- Oh, Great Founders…' Dawnbright skidded into Thistlepaw, Molewhisker not far behind. 'Bluestar, I'm sorry that these apprentices-'

'At least they know what happens if a cat disobeys StarClan,' Bluestar shrugged. 'Everyone must know this. Do you see this, apprentices?'

Most of the apprentices remained frozen, but Redpaw managed a shaky nod. Rainpaw couldn't help but stare at the bright scarlet splashes of blood over the tom's body, the way the marks of paws had dabbled it, the punctures of teeth and claw.

'What did he do?' Molewhisker asked quietly. It had to be the first time Rainpaw had heard him speak without the cheer in his voice.

'Another lowlife who considered himself to be a rebel.' Bluestar cast the feebly stirring tom a glance full of disdain, and slid her claws along his throat. Rainpaw felt Tigerpaw shudder.

A dead cat. Rainpaw didn't feel effected. No feelings of loss, or pity, or sorrow, or regret passed through her mind. She simply watched, transfixed, as the body disentigrated into the silver grass.

It would come back to haunt her many times in her life, but she couldn't change anything. She couldn't force herself to feel remorse.

…

Rainpaw swung herself back onto her nest, toying with a rubbery mousetail she had snatched from the fresh-kill pile. She had lived in the apprentice camp for half a moon now, and still hadn't found her footing nor friends.

She wasn't an expert hunter; fighting was her strong point, and she wasn't allowed to practise it any more. Not since she had left a fellow apprentice with flayed ears and gaping pink marks in their pelt. News had come back to her that Greenflower had faded, but she hadn't been concerned; the golden she-cat had probably been forgotten by the Clans. Spottedleaf's fading was what made her a little worried; she couldn't have been forgotten,, because Firestar still mooned over her in dreams (some of which weren't fit for discussion) and passed on stories about her skill and beauty. Still, it hadn't made her particuarly sad.

It was beginning to grow light; most apprentices were asleep by the seeing-pool, gazing at the Clans whenever they could. Only Sweetpaw was still curled up in the den. Rainpaw tossed the mousetail towards her sleeping frame, feeling a twinge of satisfaction when it landed on her side, and stretched out to sleep.

In her dreams, she was trapped up a tree, watching as StarClan below her began to fade like the body she had seen two weeks ago. Rainpaw clung to her branch as the tree became the only thing still standing, amongst a deep blue midnight sky. She stared down at the Clans, the roots of her tree trailing into nothingness, as sunrise dawned behind her; when the sunset came that day, it blinded her, so that she clung to her tree, not certain if it was a tree, not certain if she still existed. She wondered if this was what it was like to fade. She began to be trapped in delusions and fantasies, her mind inventing things and keeping them up if they got a reaction. Even if the reaction was terror.

After a cat with a huge, gaping jaw of black snarled at her, Rainpaw lost her grip on the tree and collapsed, falling for years through nothingness until she landed, weak and mortal, on ground. The forest around her changed from the earthy reality that the Clans inhabited and the silvery perfection of her StarClan home. She saw many silent cats, with wide white eyes, none of whom she recognised; but they all smelled of Bluestar.

**Narm, narm, narm, narm. And still no plot. How long can I expect my imagined readers to put up with plotless babblings? I am sorry, imagined readers. Feel free to hang me. Using a pink rope. With rubber duckies weighing my feet down.**


	5. Chapter 4

**Four chapters counting the prologue, and only two reviews? Please. Please. I'll never impro****ve my horrible writing unless get critique. But I thank Silverwillow, who bothered to click the little button and tap some little buttons with symbols on them. (And in answer: Yay! Don't worry, many more cats are going to die. Who is your overall favourite, btw?) **

**So, um. I'm pretty disappointed with my lack of reviews. Even though I've had something like 174 hits and 66 visitors, only two reviews. If you read the story, please review. Even if it's just 'hated it' or something. Of course, a full critique would be amazing, but I'm not going to get that. **

**Onwards! **

Cinderpaw buried her nose in the wiry bristles of her brother's pelt, desperately breathing in his husky scent. Leafpool started forward to tear her away, then paused, painfully concious of her uselessness.

Sorreltail stared down at her son's feverish face, watching his eyelids flutter helplessly. She bowed her graceful head low, then raised it to look directly at Leafpool. 'It's useless,' she said softly, her voice filled with pain.

Leafpool swallowed. 'Yes. Yes, it is. I'm so sorry.'

From the corner of the den, a haggard Poppypaw buried her face in her paws. Honeypaw padded to their infected sister and entwined their tails, giving her a soft lick.

A hacking cough from the shadows left the tabby medicine cat scurrying away, hastily gathering pungent borage, tansy and catmint. Cinderpaw stared at her brother, hungrily taking in the flex of his fur, the slender whiskers that curled around his face, the delicate pink of his mousy nose.

'Goodbye, Molepaw,' she whispered, and left the den before he stirred again.

As she stood in the drizzling rain that sculped the dirt into mud, watching a bulky warrior lower her brother's corpse into his shallow grave, a sense of loss flowed through her, mingling with her pulsing blood, her tanglible pulse.

….

Rainpaw bounded through the pines, her paws light, her head slightly giddy with the rocking motion of her run. The musky color of the mouse's fur flashed in the trees ahead of her and she pounced, crashing into a thick tangle of crisp brambles.

She spat furiously and sprung back into the open, wildly surveying the forest. No glimpse of the prey. Rainpaw growled slightly.

Tigerpaw leaped down from a spiny tree, a limp squirrel dangling from her jaws. 'Bad luck!' she called; Rainpaw, uncertain of what to say, looked awkwardly away. 'Yes,' she responded finally, her voice barely audible.

The snowy she-cat purred as though she had said something clever and amusing; she was friendly no matter what. 'It doesn't matter.'

Rainpaw shrugged and trotted through the trees, taking in the tiring silver of the bark, the soft sway of the scented needles, the drizzle of rain. She thought of the warrior code.

The one thing, apart from StarClan, that held the Clans together. She'd never heard it. She knew only the unregulating, ancient words of the StarClan code, that Greenflower had given her lessons on as a kit.

_Code one: A StarClan warrior may have no contact with the Dark Forest. They are our enemies, and we will keep them at bay to protect the Clans and ourselves._

The Dark Forest. Where the villanious cats went. Their shadowed afterlife. As a kit, she had fantasised about defeating them in an epic battle. The ancient words of the second code hummed in her mind.

_Code two: Fading is like dying, and can never be thwarted. It is the final stage of existence, and one that should be accepted in dignity and the knowledge of a full life. _

_Code three: StarClan are the ancestors and guardians of the Clans. We must watch over them. _

When she had heard the code from Dappletail and Brindleface, they'd told it differently. _Code one: The Dark Forest is the place of cruelety, hope lost and penance. Have no association with them. Code two: Fading should be accepted in serenity and gratitude to the Founders and all who keep our utopia running. Code three: The Founders ensure the safety, health, wellbeing and fortunes of all cats of the Clans. StarClan cats need not bother deviating from divine peacefulness that dying has gifted them with to worry about the Clans below. _

When she had told Greenflower about their version, the golden tabby had huffed and muttered something about corruption. Rainpaw had never been certain what that meant, and she still didn't know now. StarClan was perfect.

An authority-filled voice made her start and instinctively scurry into the shelter of a patch of glossy bracken.

'Let all cats wise enough to recognize my own wisdom gather under the Moonslope for a Clan meeting!'

There had been a few gatherings in Rainpaw's life, almost always Molewhisker scolding the group at large for whatever silly prank was in vouge. The call had always been 'Let all apprentices gather underneath the rock ledge for an assembly.' Nothing like… this. Rainpaw edged her brilliant green eyes around the patch of bracken, caught one glimpse of a clearing, a slope with Bluestar perched at the dubious height, and a group of cats swarming around the base, and drew back sharply. Suddenly terrified, she crouched low to the ground, strewing the bracken on top of her slender figure.

Bluestar frowned, unhappy with the sound of her call. 'It's very theatrical,' she murmured. 'I should rename the Moonslope.' Under her paws, the short silvery grass swayed.

Her associates (she didn't know what else to call them) clustered around the slope. She skimmed them, uncertain of the exact number of close followers she had, then shrugged and continued.

'My consultants of StarClan, we have been challenged in our rightful reign of our afterlife. After the betrayal of Spottedleaf last moon, we've been challenged in various other ways. All rebels have been faded.'

A brief cheer went up. Rainpaw flattened herself to the ground.

'The Dark Forest have been relentless in their actions. It's taking many of our warriors to keep them at bay, and still several innocents have faded. I've been informed that Dark Forest cats have found their way into our territory on the southern border. We are, however, running out of volunteers; to combat the threat, several dissenters were forced into the battle. I don't know how it went.'

She froze. Dark Forest cats in StarClan… the thought was nightmarish. She shoved it aside and strained her ears to hear more, although she was terrified of what she might find out next.

'The Clan's prophecy is growing closer. The three have not yet been born, but their time of reign and destruction looms nearer.' Bluestar paused. 'StarClan, the end of the Clans now seems plausible.'

…..

Rainpaw burst down the slope into the apprentice camp, her eyes paranoid and full of fear. She glanced behind her once and leaped down from a rock ledge into the sand.

'Where's the prey?' Dawnbright asked, approaching her.

'…what?'

'The _prey,' _the patchy she-cat meowed impatiently. 'You _were _hunting.'

'I didn't catch anything,' Rainpaw said, the familiar expression stiff on her tongue.

'Yes, you did,' Dawnbright snapped. 'When I came out to see you, you said you had caught something.'

Rainpaw froze.

'…_No, I didn't, _why would I say that?'

She had caught a crow, early in the trip, but it was long-forgotten buried under a pine. Rainpaw winced at the thought of the rotting scent of it, barely covered by the sweet reek of the leaves. She mumbled an excuse to Dawnbright and dashed off through the silver gorge, springing into her den and turning once in her nest.

_I didn't hear anything I didn't hear anything I didn't hear anything I ran away_ _when she said the end of the Clans I didn't hear anything else Nothing happened I ran away when she said _

Rainpaw lied furiously to herself, her claws raking at the moss. Her tail kept flicking to touch the recent scratch that marred her stomach. _I don't know how I got it _

She rolled over

_I didn't get it _

_I ran away when she said the end of the Clans _

_Code four: We are strong, and must remain so. Our descendants rely on their thoughts of us. Even if the stars burn and the sky fragments and the moon falls, we are, and must always remain, StarClan._

**Short, but that's all I've got. There was a festival in my town this weekend, and a birthday in the family, so I was busy. **

**Um… if you read, review. I'm begging you. I'll do ANYTHING. **


	6. Chapter 5

**No. Revieeeeeews. Really? Why can't anyone just comment? ****I know this story is on some people's watch lists, but I don't care. No reviews. Why can't anyone just… I'm going insane from lack of reviews. JUST COMMENT. **

**I'd write faster if I had any reviews, since it gives me motive. Sorry this chapter took so long. **

**I already messaged them, but THANK YOU to shadowcharmerdemon, who fave'd my story. I love them forever. **

**Everyone… I really, really want some reviews. I mean, desperately. It means the world to me, and I can't believe that so few people have reviewed. **

**The lack of good stories here… is depressing. If anyone has a story to recommend to me, I'd love to read something (anything!) good. **

**Um, just going to say that seasons may not be continuous with the Warriors series. **

**Now. CHAAAAAAAAAAARGE, MY WORDS! **

_Kits. _The single word was being branded into Leafpool's mind, the agony sizzling through her head, making her want to yowl her pain out to the camp. The smoke was clouding her senses and her logic, her thoughts a jumble of dark smoke.

It made her want to tear her own stomach off and watch the unborn kits spasm weakly, as she ran with her intestines spilling into the grass, until her kits stilled and she stumbled down onto the ground. _That would be good. _

She leaned over the mound of poppy seeds, her eyes tightly squinched shut. Outside the tranquility of her den, the

comforting murmurs of ThunderClan life seemed to claw gloatingly at her ears.

_Calm, calm, calm, calm, calm… _

_?_

'L-Leafpool?'

She let herself hang in darkness for another moment, then opened her eyes and began to deftly separate the seeds into even piles. 'What is it?'

Squirrelflight was standing behind her, leaning to the left as she always did when she stood straight. 'Can I speak to you?'

'No! How dare you suggest you speak to a medicine cat? I do this for the nice smell of mouse bile.' She swept the piles onto their waiting leaves.

Her sister sighed minutely. 'Leafpool, Brambleclaw and I… we're trying, but we just can't… make kits.' Leafpool winced at the expression. 'Can you help?'

'I've given you the raspberry leaf, haven't I?' At her sister's nod, she let out a long whoosh of air. 'Squirrelflight, you've been trying to concieve for moons. Has it… crossed your mind that…?'

'I might be barren or infertile,' she mewed promptly. 'Yes, repeatedly. But you can fix it, right?'

Her pleading green eyes locked on to her sister's calm ones, that had a turmoil of emotion. 'No. Squirrelflight, if you're barren, there's nothing we can…'

_It won't work. _

'I understand.' She dipped her head, unable to hide the look on her face. 'It's okay.'

_It won't work! _

'I'm sorry,' she said softly. 'I'm so sad for you.'

_Get it out of your mind, Leafpool, you know it won't work, this is real life, stop thinking about-!_

'Sister,' she blurted out. 'Wait. There is… something.'

_-it._

…

'Aren't you beautiful,' the elder was mewing, in a croaky voice. Cinderpaw could feel her legs faultering as a cold nose was pressed into her thick fur. 'Just like your aunt.'

She was dreaming, a dream she had lived over a thousand times. 'Just like Cinderpelt,' the old she-cat was rasping, 'Just like Cinderpelt.' Her voice blared on, grating her ears. 'Just like Cinderpelt.'

'Cinderpelt's dead.' Her voice was a scarce whisper. 'I'm not her. She's _dead.' _

'Just like-'

'Shut up!' Cinderpaw screeched, slashing a claw at the elder's face. For the first time she noticed the straggly gray fur, the familiar face, the identical blue eyes. 'I'm not her!' she wailed hysterically. 'I'm not you! She's dead! I'm not her!'

'Just like Cinderpel-'

She hooked out a claw to slice at the elder's mouth, watching the blood slide out bubbling with salivia. 'No! I'm not! I'm not-'

'Just-' The she-cat was still speaking, despite the scarlet that spilled out of her mouth, despite her frayed tongue. 'Just like Cinderpelt.'

Cinderpaw collapsed, trembling violently. 'No, I'm not. Not her.'

'Just like Cinderpelt.' The withered she-cat was staring at her. 'Just like Cinderpelt.'

…

Rainpaw drifted in and out of sleep, glancing drowsily at the seeing-pool occasionally. It wasn't really nessecary, though; she just had to look at it a few times during the day and the afffairs of the Clans below filled her dreams. She was watching RiverClan hunters, watching the helpless fish flop around skittish. In the nursery, a pretty queen was telling her kits a story; of a foolish apprentice who fell in the river. All of him was eaten but the eyes by a monstrous fish, and soon the fish gained a cat tail, paws, claws, ears. And it hungered to taste the eyeballs of a young cat, to complete the meal. She listened in amusement for a while, then mentally flicked to ThunderClan.

In the leader's den, a spider was spinning a shimmering web in a deep corner. In the warrior's den, a grumbling Mousepaw was clearing out abandoned prey bones. Several warriors still dozed in their nests. In their nursery, Squirrelflight was carefully constructing a new nest for herself. Apprentice's bush, Honeypaw and Cinderpaw slept, the latter with violent twitches.

Bored, she examined the sprawling forest. A mouse scurried over an exposed root. There was the rustle of wind in leaves. The sound of cats. She followed it.

Brambleclaw and Spiderleg were perched at the foot of a tree, muttering to each other. Rainpaw strained to listen.

'Four Clans into tw/beautifulday'

'Yes, it /anditdidn't work? / We've had nice weather late/ it was a good plan.'

'Tigerstar has good/ the pr/ey'

Their speech was garbled, flicking from a hushed, conspirital conversation to a cheerful discussion of weather and prey. _Are they doing that on purpose?_

'/could succeee/ I know! I can't wait to be a father!'

His cheerful voice sounded rushed and desperate, not like Brambleclaw at all.

'Yes, good StarClan blessed you with/couldit?'

Rainpaw shook her head in confusion and let the seeing go, slipping into empty sleep.

…

She woke before it was entirely dark, only a few silver stars at their full brightness. The gorge was stirring with early activity, Dawnbright and a mentor she didn't recognise were organizing some pointless patrol; she knew she would be roped in somehow. Rainpaw padded over, her paws heavy.

The patrol bounded into the pines, a few apprentices drifting away to hunt. Rainpaw broke away too, managing to swing up a tall tree. She perched among the scented needles, watching a crow, wrinkling her nose at the decayed scent of the prey.

She let herself examine the neat scar on her stomach, trying to repress the sudden stream of memories. Of what she had seen, heard, what they had done to her-

Rainpaw closed her eyes, hearing her own yowls, the angry snarls of StarClan. _No no no no no no no_

'What's wrong?'

She tumbled promptly out of the tree at Dawnbright's enquiry. Her body throbbed, and when the ginger-and-white she-cat approached her she snarled and lashed out.

She knew what she wanted to do.

After, Rainpaw gazed down at Dawnbright's body, at the gentle eyes, pelt spiky with cooling blood. 'Bye,' she said cheerfully.

As she padded back to the main patrol, she thought how annyoying Dawnbright had been.


	7. Chapter 6: Bluestar

**Bluestar chapter!**

**NONEYA: Thank you!**

**The Great Aussie Bogan: Oh, the only hater I know of is myself. Bluestar's the main villian, yes, but she isn't totally OOC. What she said in Chapter One was true. Rainpaw's personality… I'm still trying to nail her sociopath tendencies, I don't think she's wholly developed yet, but I'm glad you like her so far. The outbursts? Yes, that's where my writing goes awry, hopefully it'll get better over time. Also, I know the area where you live! I was there once. –stalker face- **

**MyrtleFalls: oh, how I love this review. StarClan, yes, it appears perfect. This story's meant to have gray morality, but Tigerpaw and other characters later on will represent a good side, don't worry. Thank you so much, but I'll never stop beating myself up. **

**WarriorCat99: Thank you so much! Yes, I'm fairly proud of the plot, I don't think it's been done before? I've never been able to stand how unchangeably GOOD StarClan are in most fanfics. Thank you infinitely much for the fave. **

**Thank you everyone for the fave. However, I also appreciate reviews. If you've fav'd this or watched it, please please review. Or I'll… be unhappy. Grrrrr, fear my unhappyness.**

**Please forgive my use of Suddenly to begin a sentence. **

Bluestar skidded to a stop at the top of the slope. It swam unnervingly in front of her, but she shook the nauseous blurs aside and squinted through aged eyes at a single flash of ginger, cutting through the ferns.

_No! Not that one! You cannot use him as prey!_

Bluestar flung herself down the slope, the air whistling through and burning her throat. Ferns smashed into her face, making her eyes water, the trees shifting together and apart again.

_It won't work, he's trying to kill himself, he's finally seen that my Clan is ruined gone destroyed, that it is no more that a cluster of traitors, and he watns ot ecapse_

Bluestar flung herself at the dog, longing to feel teeth ripping through her pelt, rupturing her insides, leaving her still, gulping her down _yes_

There were the shards of teeth digging into her pelt- she twisted and gave a snarl of pleasure, she hadn't felt this alive in moons- but they began to slide away, leaving only the slightest suggestion of blood on her fur. _No!_Bluestar whipped around to see the dog begin to topple over the steep face of the gorge. Her instincts betrayed her, and she felt herself scrabble away.

She still had hope. The pack was thundering closer.

'Bluestar!' Fireheart tried to caution her, but she was frozen in the dog's gaze, filled with both hunger and fear. _why__didn__'__t__you__kill__me__couldn__'__t__you__just__kill__mme__give__me__pain__i__want__pain__yes__pain_

She heard the thump of a dog's body against the ravine as it fell, heard the brittle snap of bones and a single splash as he plunged into the churning waters. _Take__me__ake__me__with__you_

Bluestar stared challengingly at the dangling lead dog. 'You shouldn't have threatened us,' she said simply, trying to muster up feelings of revenge against her Clan. None came.

The dog's head ripped forward, a snarl breaking the panicked expression. The feeling of yellowed teeth snapping around her leg made her weak with pleasure- _yes__kill__me__kill__me__please__rip__my__throat__out__yes_She almost came at the thought of it.

The dog was dragging her over the edge of the gorge. She bid a silent, final goodbye to the ground, touching it once with a limp paw, then felt herself twisting through the air, the sharp snarl of wind around her ruffling the dog's pelt and grip.

The dog released her, and she hit the water.

_Water will destroy you. _

She felt it billow around her, the pressure of the thick currents, relief surging through her as she let herself be tossed back and forth by the force. Finally.

Her head broke the foaming water, and she felt a familiar scent wrap around her.

'Oakheart!' she hissed, giving a hacking cough, water tumbling from her slimy throat. 'I don't want you here-'

_It's like running through the forest. Let your paws do the work. Chin up. _

'I don't want to run through the forest,' she said hoarsely, as invisible soft dry fur and broad paws began to churn her legs, making her splutter through the water. 'Let me go. I want to be gone, I want the last thing I see to be-'

_those sprinklings of bubbles and the blooming clouds of my blood stinging my eyes and_

'Let me go!'

_That__'__s__the__way._He was steering her towards the bank.

She wailed briefly, and felt jaws clamp down hard on her scruff. _Yes!__Drag__me__underwater,__do__it,__please,__just__give__me__pain__and__make__it__end_

She turned her head and saw ginger.

_Make__it__harder__for__the__bastard._She forced herself to go limp and let him drag her through the foaming, choppy waters. _Can__'__t__you__see__i__just__want__to_

Bluestar felt her waterlogged pelt brushing against the grass and dirt. _saved__me.__fuck__you._

'Bluestar?'

The image of a head, tilted in confusion, swam in front of her. She focused her eyes and squinted at the cat. She zipped into clearness. Mistyfoot.

_no i don't want _

'Loyal,' she rasped quietly. 'Don't… forgive me. Don't forgive me.'

Mistyfoot's eyes filled with warmth. 'We forgive you, Bluestar.'

The leader cursed her croaky, unreliable voice as her daughter buried a wet nose in her fur. There was that milky smell from her kithood, now tinted with a scent of mint and something sharper and fresher that she didn't recognise.

_Who were your kits, Mistyfoot? Who did you have them with? Did Graypool let you suck on the bones of the prey? When did you lose your virginity? Did you pass your assesments first time? Did you ever cheat? Ever pull pranks? What did you look like at your warrior ceremony? Did you rub dock on your pelt? I did. It made it shinier. I would have let you do it.. Not every mother would. _

_Did__you__ever__collect__wet__moss__at__dawn__with__your__mate,__and__fling__it__at__each__other__besides__the__river,__while__the__soft__gray__light__made__your__fur__shine?__You__would__have__had__more__than__one__night,__but__that__was__what__we__did,__and__… __what__little__games__did__you__play__with__your__kits?__Did__you__let__them__find__you__in__hide__and__seek?__Did__you__get__sick?__What_happened _in__your__life?_

So many questions, and she couldn't fight the sentimental flow. She stirred quietly, water dribbling from her mouth as she let it hang open. Firestar was murmuring something to Stonefur, and a moment later he bent his head and said reverently, 'We forgive you.'

Bluestar felt her mouth open, and she was whispering to Firestar- the prophecy. It felt a world away now. He would not save the Clans. Nothing would.

In her early life, every fourth day, Bluestar would go to her favourite tree. It was near the river, and she could watch the bubbling flow over smooth stones, and eat some early prey- a vole, she prefered. She would climb down with the fragments of bone in her mouth, and let them tumble into the flow of the river, imagined them clunking together amongst the cold silver currents, spiralling away and forever, as far as the river went.

Once she had set the tiny skull right beside the river, forcing the empty sockets to stare at all it had left of itself slip away with the water. When she came back, it was gone.

Bluestar blinked and watched the water. There was a brief bloom of blood, she was bubbling away with the river. She let herself sink into the grass and crumble of soil, imagining that she was soft and limp amongst the depths, oblivious to everything. The pain in her right leg was sweet.

….

'What?'

Bluestar leaped up frantically, circled once, and glanced down at her pelt. No jagged wounds marred the fluffy, soft fur. She felt young limbs flex, agile and quick. 'What?' she said again, and darted a glance around her surroundings.

The forest spanned out in all directions, branches arching elegantly overhead to cross against the sheer blackness of the sky. Bluestar shook herself and ran a claw along the grass. 'N-no… I won't be one of them…'

How could they do this to her? She didn't want to join them, she didn't want to decieve the Clans, look at this forest, what happened to the starry, glorious blaze of StarClan? There wasn't a lone rustle or whisper of leaves. Nobody was there. It smelt like nothingness. The forest had muted, gray colors. When she brushed against a tree and ferns, her pelt crawled- it wasn't the same to touch, it was wrong.

Bluestar felt her legs shake once and collapse; she curled up tightly on the ground, her eyes desperately scrunched shut. 'No I don't want to be here I don't want to have to go on why is this happenening why am I alone why isn't anyone here _why__am__I__alone_'

She lay on the ground for a long time.

….

'Bluestar.'

She didn't move.

'It's Firestar's ceremony.'

'Where were you?' Bluestar said it through gritted teeth, her eyes still closed. 'This can't be StarClan. StarClan… it's meant to be glorious, starry, the founders and miscarried kits eating honeycomb together… I'm alone here.'

She opened her eyes. Redtail was hesitating near a vast tree. 'StarClan's the afterlife, Bluestar. It's _death._I understand you're disappointed, but death is different from life.'

Bluestar examined him with cool anger. 'I'd never have guessed,' she said coldly. When Redtail didn't reply, she went on, 'I'm giving him a life?'

Redtail nodded, uncertain of how she would react. 'It's… we have to go this way.'

'Nothing here makes sense,' Bluestar said, scrabbling to her feet and following him bitterly through the trees. 'How do we get into dreams? How am I supposed to give him a life? What-'

Redtail halted abruptly, and pressed his nose against hers. 'You can't talk to him,' he said firmly. 'You can't say anything apart from what the ceremony calls for.'

Bluestar gave a shaky nod. Redtail's eyes were boring into hers and when he drew away a thrill of life zipped through her. She bounded through the trees, the buzzing in her paws building until it was almost painful.

'So how do we get there?' she sang over her shoulder, oblivious of how kit-like she looked. 'Am I giving him his last- hnnnffff-'

Suddenly she felt like she was on fire. Every part of her was fizzing with otherpowering energy. 'It hurts,' she whimpered, sinking to the ground, her paws twitching and raring to go.

'Life,' Redtail said, looking unimpressed. 'It feels different if you've died.'

Bluestar squinched her eyes closed and tightly bent her head, the blood pounding through her feeling like it was going to burst out. 'I don't-' Every time her heart beat, she staggered in agony.

'Move,' Redtail ordered. 'It'll make you feel better, and you have to move to move.'

'Thank you, Obvioussuffix,' Bluestar snarled, jumping when her heart thumped again. She staggered up and followed him, the sensation of moving not enough to quench the electricity in her bones and muscle, the feeling of being too brittle to hold herself in. 'Am I going to give this to him?'

Redtail replied, but she didn't hear him. She writhed as she walked, sinking her paws hard into the ground, raking a claw down her leg in fury.

The forest around them was a vast expanse of interchangeable trees and still bracken and sprawling bushes. Bluestar drew back in alarm when it began to glow intensely, and the ground began to lower. She pressed herself against Redtail, hoping that the furious churning of her innards would hurt him too.

They were in darkness, only a few pinpoints of icy light around them. 'Stars?' Bluestar asked Redtail quietly, hating how much she was relying on him. _I__despise__you.__You__know__what__you__'__ve__done__to__me._

Below them, Fourtrees. They seemed more beautiful, larger, far grander than usual, and she wanted more than anything to dash towards it and curl up amongst the strong roots, the huge oaks that had never changed. _Never__go,_she whispered. _My__whole__life__has__been__measured__by__you._

The stars swirled around them, and she felt a fiery but cold pressure on her pelt. Stars were arrayed in her fur, the intense burning sensation pressing on her. She sucked in a deep breath- her insides were pounding and churning as though they wanted to escape, and her fur was being shoved inwards by the frosty, unbearable sensation of the stars.

Redtail nudged her, and they stalked down the sky, curving slowly towards the one shivering cat who crouched among the huge trees. _What__do__I__say?_she pondered. _What__was__it__Snowfur__did?__The__… __she__gave__me__… _

Redtail was first, and the words he spoke echoed through her mind as they left his jaw. One by one, cats Firestar had known went forward, and she watched him jerk in pain with no sympathy. She stood still, the heavy stars sttrategically placed to prevent movement, until they began to push her feet forward. 'Don't trust,' she managed to get out in the tiniest of whispers.

The stars began to manipulate her tongue. She spoke the ceremonial words with ease, and when her nose touched to Firestar's the pain built up to an enraged cresecendo-

_Snowfur's body red amongst the white limp and flattened on the side of the thunderpath_

_moonflower it isn't fair it's not fair is this real hawkheart on top of here where did he bite you it isn't fair it's not fair is this real_

_thrushpelt i'm sorry i should have oh lionclan i should have his face full of agony _

_thistleclaw i gave up everything why i could have i could have never known _

_goosefeather trusted_

and left her. She had no movement inside her. It was anything but painless.

The pressure of the stars on her tongue worked blood up from her mouth, but she turned before Firestar could see the stream. 'Firestar,' Bluestar yowled in a monotone. No emotion was in her voice.

If she had free will, she would have called, 'Don't trust us.'

_Bluestar,_she heard in the back of her mind. _Something__'__s__about__to__happen,__but__don__'__t__freak__out,__you__'__re__going__to__give__a__prophecy,__please__don__'__t-_

_Leave__me__alone,__Oakheart,_she thought, before the stars began burrowing into her mind. _Prophecy,_she thought.

…

Bluestar was lying in moss, the forest around her silent. Redtail was nowhere to be seen. 'What happened to the prophecy?' she murmured. 'I- the stars… can't remember,,.'

She had no memory of anything past the moment when her head began to freeze and hurt; something vague of a hill of bones, but no more. _The__stars__did__it,_she thought, and laughed at herself.

She laughed for a long time.

….

And now they wanted her to take over StarClan, be its leader.

Bluestar's eyes shone in slightly insane amusment. _I__hate__you.__Why__would__you__want__me__to__lead__you.__i__hate__you.__you__'__re__all__liars._

'Please, Bluestar,' Spottedleaf was meowing. 'Graywing, he's old, he's almost faded, StarClan's becoming… we're not supposed to be what we are. We're meant to be paradise.'

'I haven't seen anyone for moons,' Bluestar said. 'I've been alone. Those stars made me move.' Are we here to prey? She meant to speak, but her mouth moved emptily. My kit died when I was little. I've always loved voles. She laughed.

Spottedleaf stared at her. 'The stars? Graywing gives them to cats he think might speak against him. To prevent them from thinking freely. Why would you get them?'

Bluestar decided to not speak.

'You're a great leader,' Lionheart told her. 'You've never doubted StarClan, but we aren't what we used to be.'

'Haven't you been watching?' Bluestar said, puzzled.

'StarClan used to have seeing-pools everywhere,' a cat she didn't recognise replied. 'But something changed.'

'You've been hinting at it for ages,' Bluestar snapped, irritated. 'Tell me what happened.'

The four of them were sitting in an empty expanse of forest, Bluestar still curled up in her moss.

'StarClan… used to be a huge forest, that mirrored the Clan territory exactly,' Spottedleaf began. 'Everyone could go anywhere, though. There were stars everywhere, but it was as if they didn't exist. They didn't hurt back then. There was prey. Cats used to sometimes just fade in and out of visibility, and there was no way of telling if they would come back, but… in my limited experience, it was the same as it had been since it was founded by Star.'

…..

_The legend of Star: _

_once there were six Clans. ThunderClan ruled the forest, pelts dappled by shafts of light, feeding on the juicy meat of squirrels. RiverClan lived amongst the reeds and shining waters, and were proud of their idiosyncracies. ShadowClan found a home in marsh and pine, and had the most integrity and intelligence of all. WindClan were buffeted by gales and weather in the sprawling moors, and they were honest and good. SkyClan reigned over the thickest part of the forest, and were fair and spiritual. StarClan lived in Highstones and the surrounding paddocks, and were the most tolerant and rebellious. _

_their leader was Star, a pale gray tom with green eyes and an eager, proud nature. His deputy, cousin and eventuallly, mate was Moon, a ginger tabby. There were many jokes about their names (they had in fact been named to match by their littermate mothers), but they ruled the Clan well. _

_however, it hadn't been many moons before they had problems. The paddocks were full of cows and horses who could crush a spine with their hooves, and the few mice that lived there weren't worth the danger. Highstones was hazardous and barren; their camp was well-protected, but the other Clans soon began to extend their borders into StarClan territory. _

_they died or fled, and Star was soon left alone. Stricken by the death of his friends and mate, he began to walk and never stopped or ate or drank, until he fell and never got up. _

_his spirit went to the sky, and he discovered an ethereal territory, populated already by the wandering souls of all deceased cats. He brought them together and finally ruled a Clan, and they watched the others below and knew all. _

_Star was forgotten by history, but his co-ruler was the namesake of the Moonstone. Neither of them ever faded, despite their names being long erased into nothingness. _

…_._

'Soon after Spootedleaf arrived, Graywing started being strange. You go senile if you've never faded,' Lionheart continued. 'He eradicated the seeing-pools, and the forest became empty. StarClan started being unwelcoming and strange, and the prophecy just seemed to make it fall apart even more.'

'Seeing-pools?'

'The things we watch the Clans through.'

_They don't know i hate htem, they i they said they hadn't approached anyone else about this the forest is so it's empty they haven't seen anyone to know what happened _

'But my dreams…' she said.

'We're never in anybody's dreams, apart from when they go to the Moonstone,' the third cat said. 'It looks like us, but it's a façade. We never know what we're supposedly saying.'

'Since Graywing came, anyway,' Spottedleaf corrected him.

_i could fixx Starcaamn I could _

'I will,' she said.

….

Make StarClan silver. No, Spottedleaf, I don't care that we're having proble- Yes, but we need to look nicer! It'll reassure everyone- yes. Even the protesters, yes.

Lionheart? What do you- oh. Oh, I… see. Rotting. How could someone rot while they're still sentinent and moving? I thought we were insubstancial anyway. Look, just fade him. Yes- yes, no, of course you can do it! What do you think happened to Frostfur? And, uh, what was their name again? Mosskt? I-is that right? Okay. Sure. Yes, fade him anyway. He might alarm everyone else.

What do you think you were doing? _Telling_everyone what happened to your littermate? She was rotting. We saved her. We don't need scum like you trying to overthrow us. We're restoring StarClan. We don't need vermin scurrying around telling everyone we're making StarClan too real. That means nothing. The rotting means nothing. Do you know what I do that rats? I tear their throats out. But you won't cause me to lose a life, will you? You're pathetic. Go ahead and yowl… Spottedleaf. Take out that moss, it's wet. How come cats fading always leaves dampness?

The Dark Forest. The. Dark. Forest. Are you insane? Of course I want you to send cats! Send all the decaying ones. It'll scare them. No, they don't have to be _willing._Just as long as they fight.

Well, send some more to guard the border. I-I just don't get how an uncrossable border can just vanish, anyway… and haven't they always been unable to communicate with each other? Just fend them off. Oh? How many? Only sixteen? That's easily replaced. Go and find some more.

Oh, Spottedleaf, you're so soft-hearted. She's Mistyfoot's daughter, Mistyfoot's a revolting traitor, I don't _care_that she's my kin! It's a wonder she lasted this long in StarClan anyway. Hey, little kit. What's your name? Oh my, Petalkit? That's very pretty. What do you like to do? Yes, I like hunting too. You must be a great hunter. Oh! I'm sorry, I thought your ear was a little mouse. Yeah, silly me. You see what I can do with my claws? Ohh, what a big belly, you've been eating too many mice, I bet. Let me check. No, I'm not "gonna" stop! I'm having fun. Look at all those cheering cats, you're not going to ruin their fun, are you? Hee, you're funny. Am I funny? Do you like me? Oh! I'm offended! You know what happens when a lovely little kit offends me? I… huh. She didn't last long. Let's go. That was sort of disappointing.

**All people interested in this story (all two of them), I'm doing a Halloween edition. I'd also love to do a musical episode, how awesome would it be if cats suddenly BURST INTO SONG! But I fail forever at rhyming. **

**Review, because Spottedleaf demands it. That, and the honeycomb. Also her life again. which you'd think would trump honeycomb.**


	8. Chapter 7

** REMOVED THE SPACES FROM BETWEEN WORDS AND WHEN I TRIED RE-UPLOADING IT IT I'M SO SORRY –breaks down-**

**I'm sorry for the long wait. I'm going through a challenging time and I do feel as though this fic isn't what I set out to write. This was supposed to border on Dark fic, interpret characters alternately, deconstruct StarClan… instead it's me waffling on, wondering if it's too early to get to the plot yet. I shall keep using my age as an excuse.**

**It's really only the reviewers that keep me writing this; so please keep reviewing, okay? It means a lot.**

**Obzezzed: Thank you so, so much. I'll explain in a moment about Rainpaw. Do I hate bluestar… no, not at all! She's just the villian, lol. **

**WarriorCat99: Yes, she issssssss. Rainpaw's back this chapter, I love her too much to steer away from her for long. Thank you, I'm glad you liked it- I was having worries about getting inside Bluestar's head, but I think I managed it ^^**

**Fallenshadow962: thank you, I'm really happy you like it. Yes, I have a fairly original interpretation of StarClan… "crumble if you looked at it"… I like that! On your story: I really like it, story alert and review for you **

**MyrtleFalls: yes she did. It was mistyfoot's kit. **

**RainbowNinjaUnicorn279: yes, StarClan are always… sparkly and pretty and lovely and if the Clans lose sight of them they're DOOMED and everyone dances together on the clouds when they die and fffffffffffff. I'm sorry if you dislike the portrayal of Bluestar- she's one of my favourites, but she just seemed to fit as the villian…ish (gray and gray morality). And thank you.**

**And, on an unrelated note, twas I who wrote 'The Story of Prettysilverflower.' Don't look at me like that. It was a troll! A troll, I swear! MyrtleFalls, on your review on the sporking of it (hilarious, btw) I'm not going to update it, because I was banned (and I was having so much fun), but I'm glad somebody knows about it. Whoever wrote the sporking, I love you. \**

**On another unrelated note: Why is it that the work I do that I hate, everyone else likes, and vice versa? A while back I wrote a dark short story around sphinxes, and was really proud of it but it recieved scathing comments from the teachers, and all the artowork I do that I like ends up being met with reactions of 'It's…. it's uh, nice, but…'**

**Yet art I do that I don't like ends up being met with acclaim (like my bird picture, which won a major art show, something that makes me headdesk, or) like this story. Well, I have fun writing it, but…**

**EXPLANATION TIIIIIIME (this keyboard has no squiggle, but just imagine one there)**

**I recommend you read this if you want to make sense of the story.**

**CINDERPELT/CINDERHEART/RAINPAW**

**The reincarnation was designed to basically, take the formed body of Sorreltail's unborn kit, manipulate it to look like Cinderpelt, and give it the personality of her- basically, taking over her body to be born another Cinderpelt. **

**Howver it didn't go to plan- Rainkit's soul was supposed to be still sentinent, a terrified kit wailing silently as her body was taken out of her control. Instead, her body was entirely given to Cinderheart. The gaps in her mind were left, so to prevent the kit from being severly retarded, they gave her some memories from Cinderpelt to fill them in.**

**Rainkit was supposed to remain in the body of Cinderheart, but instead she went on to StarClan. Never living, though, meant that she had a life to miss out on- she would grow in StarClan until the moment when, had Cinderpelt not been reincarnated into her, she would have died. **

**Rainpaw and the Cinders have entirely different personalities, but excepting the pelt and eye coloration they're identical.**

**During the story, you'll be able to see glimpses of an alternate world, where Rainpaw's body wasn't taken over by Cinderpelt's soul.**

**STARCLAN'S CORRUPTION:**

**Cats who are the leader of StarClan are special enough not to fade with time; however, they do grow senile. Like Bluestar, Graywing began to make bad choices, and if StarClan isn't moderated properly, the brittle star-based enviroment begins to fall apart. Hence the rotting of the cats and prey and trees in Bluestar's reign, and the distancing of cats and the stars allowing themselves to be manipulated and used to turn cats into puppets in Graywing's. **

**StarClan became corrupt due to Bluestar's insanity. Because Graywing's poor ruling caused the seeing-pools to malfunction, and at the Moonpool Bluestar appeared calm, the well-meaning Spottedleaf, Redtail and mysterycat overthrew Graywing and put Bluestar as leader. She quickly became lost in how everything fell apart in her paws. The rotting, the breaking, the rebels and the arguments against her caused her to implement censorship laws, to prevent negative word of mouth. They started censoring the seeing-pools so that the StarClan cats won't become incolved with the Clan's problems, but the process hasn't been perfected yet, leading to things like the glitched and warped conversation Rainpaw overheard. **

**Hooray. This Friday is SHOW DAAAAAY, and the whole of my middle-class, all-white school is buzzing with the thought of cows and fairy floss. At least a day off is a break from patronizing teachers, mind-blowingly easy classes, and idiot kids who cut themselves and pretend to be bi because apparently it's sexy now. No, self-harm is no longer a thing to be worried about; it's something thirteen-year-olds do and brag about to the whole class! **

**-nervous laugh- Rant over. Hopefully skipping to Year 10 English next year will have more challenges… and possibly –gasp- even A DAY OF SCHOOL WHERE WE DO WORK INSTEAD OF PLAY GAMES OR WATCH MOVIES, or even… HOMEWORK. Oh, the possibilites.**

**/endnote**

Molewhisker was winding his way through the usual dense group of apprentices. 'Out of the way, out of the way!' he sang cheerfully, leading a small brown tom who was shrinking into himself. 'Meet Molepaw, everyone!'

There was a dutiful if unenthusastic chrous of 'Hiiiii, Molepaw.'

'Molepaw made the great decision to join us!' the black cat said brightly.

_Probably__did__it__while__twitching__and__spasming__in__a__pool__of__his__own__blood._Rainpaw poked her head out of the den, where she was sharpening her claws on a tattered, sticky twig.

'Bluestar said she hopes that all of you kiddliwinks will be kind to him, or else… Dawnbright… and I will be forced to punish you!' He twisted his face into a serious expression.

Nobody knew what had happened to Dawnbright. Rainpaw barely did. It had happened quickly, and it didn't seem to be acknowledged by her life. It certainly hadn't been acknowledged by Bluestar. Officialy, she was still alive and there, she still had to lead patrols with Molewhisker. The upbeat warrior had problems handling his rowdy apprentices alone, but as Bluestar had told him in a meeting they had all eavesdropped on, 'Why would you need another to help you? Dawnbright leads them with you.'

Rumours were raging, but they were trivial and ridiculous. And forbidden, anyway.

Rainpaw withdrew into the den again and flung the stick at the wall.

…

Rainpaw drew back, wincing slightly. The forest in front of her shone and glittered alarmingly, the silver dancing like she was looking directly at the sun. 'What is _this?_' she muttered in disgust, trailing a paw along a tree's shiny, polished, smooth trunk.

. It smelled even more offensive than her patch of forest, the sickly-sweet scent syrupy…ier

**(Just ignore that)**

and the unrelenting odour of decay behind it stronger. She brushed experimentally against the tree, half expecting the bark to snap, but it was solid and unflinching.

She had escaped camp after being told off for almost (almost! They were so paranoid!) mutilating Rosepaw. She muttered a frustrated obscenity under her breath. Apprentice camp was no better than the kit's area. But at least her familiar swath of pines didn't have this eye-watering sparkle to it.

'I should hunt,' she muttered to herself; Rainpaw was terrified of looking crazy, and if she thought any possible bystanders wouldn't understand what she was doing, she was in the habit of narrating out loud, even if nobody was there; _I__'__m__getting__some__prey,__I__'__m__going__to__the__dirt-place,__I__have__to__leave._

This made her look insane, obviously, but she was trying to convince herself otherwise.

Rainpaw sprang towards a very obvious mouse; she was off-balance, but it was unconvincingly slow. And fat, is this prey even real? she wondered as it scurried around the tree.

As she sank her teeth into it, she recoiled and hurled a writhing white mass from her mouth onto the ground. Rainpaw sprang back and watched them squirm and rear disgusting heads. _Maggots__… _

It was the first time she'd found this many in a piece of prey. Usually, there where only one or two, and they were easy to flick out. Tentatively, she picked up the mouse, flicking out only a few more. There was a meaty stench and the flesh squelched under her teeth. _Why__doesn__'__t__prey__fade?_she found herself wondering.

.The apprentices weren't allowed to pose questions about the structure of StarClan; it had initially been a shock for her, growing up with lenient Greenflower. She had begun to miss her foster mother; Greenflower had been a rebel, and despite the usage of rebel as a degratory term in the apprentice community, she appreciated that. After what she

(HADN'T)

witnessed on the hunting trip, she had begun to silently contemplate the systems of StarClan.

Rainpaw shook herself. _Enough__monolouge__recap__of__what__you__already__know!_she told herself, and bounded forward with the prey disgusting on her tongue.

'Are you supposed to be here?'

She started, and whipped around, letting the fetid prey fall. 'I-I don't know.'

'Are. You. A warrior?' A silver she-cat sidestepped a root and bounded closer to Rainpaw.

'No. My, um, my name's Rainpaw. Actually, legally I might still be Rainkir, but I don't really care, and everyone would just go with it if I gave myself a badass warrior name like Rainfang or Rainfire or-' she babbled meaninglessly,

'That makes no sense. Did you die a kit about to become an apprentice or something?'

'Wouldn't that make the name Rainpaw official?' Rainpaw said sweetly. _Why__am__I__talking__like__this?_'No, but I-'

'Oh. My… oh wow.' The she-cat paced once, then yowled over her shoulder, 'Patchpelt! It's the Cinderheart body!'

'What just happened?' Rainpaw asked bluntly.

She stopped pacing. 'Hi, I'm Willowpelt, and are you really the Cinderheart body? Because we're sort of fleeing the warrior territories here, and-'

A black-and-white tom shoved rudely through a shrub and glanced from Willowpelt to Rainpaw. 'She could be an informer. You go through with things too quickly.'

'Well, half a second ago she was hunting and now a full-fledged lifetime-deciding conversation is well underway. I don't think I'm particuarly the cause. And anyway, she's the Cinderheart body, do you really think she'd be an informer?'

'We don't know anything about her, other than that her body was hijacked…' Patchpelt reminded her.

Rainpaw coughed subtly, and when that failed, she snarled, 'Excuse me. The cause of your argument is standing here not knowing what the fuck is going on, would you stop trying to drag this out and get to the point!'

She really didn't have a clue what was going on. Body being hijacked, was that supposed to be a metaphor for puberty or something? Of course, she was unique in that she grew, but she had stopped caring about that a long time ago, not that anyone else had, and maturing when you were dead didn't have anything to do with hijacking.

The two (…littermates?) looked startled, and Patchpelt mewed, 'Right. Sorry. We're talking about the reincarnation.'

'You could've worked that out for yourself,' Willowpelt said, looking as though this she-cat wasn't living up to her expectations.

'I really have no idea what you're talking about,' Rainpaw got out faintly. 'Really. No clue. What's a reincarnation?'

'Ohhh no…' Patchpelt met his (sister's?) eyes. 'She doesn't know, and she's probably an informer, all the young cats are-'

'These days, the young cats are just kept out of the warrior's way and nobody cares about what they hear,' Willowpelt said. 'I've been there, the trees are barely sparkly, Bluestar actually let them _see_her murder someone-'

'She took it back later,' Rainpaw put in, receiving interested glances. 'They apparently thought better of letting us know that, so somebody visited us and convinced us it was a nightmare.' More interested glances. 'Some of the apprentices were telling everyone and getting really nervous.'

'That'd find with her policies; they're always changing,' Patchpelt nodded.

They stared expectantly at Rainpaw, who had to say after a long pause, 'I don't have anything else to say. Go on.'

'I was… yes. The apprentice area isn't as heavily monitored, so young cats won't know there's anything to inform. I've heard rules like the never-say-die one are trickling down, right?'

'Yeah…'

'And since Bluestar obviously doesn't want her to know, and there's probably a reason for that!' Patchelt said triumphantly. 'So we should probably tell her!'

'Even if it helps nobody at all,' Willowpelt pointed out. 'It does nothing, not even indirectly, to help us.'

'Wait…' Rainpaw's mind was foggy. 'I… why are you talking about me?'

'Are you sure she's the body?' Willowpelt asked her (mate? Brother? Friend? Rainpaw had no idea). 'Because that appears to be the one thing we haven't discussed yet.'

'Stop. Arguing. With. Me. It. Is. Fine. And. She. Looks. Exactly. Like. Sorreltail.'

'Sorreltail's a tortoiseshell,' Rainpaw said helpfully.

'I meant in face,' he explained condescendingly. 'Now, Willowpelt, would you like to discuss this any longer? Or can I just tell the poor kit already so she can… know? Against Bluestar's word? We have no good reason.'

'Apprentice, not kit,' Rainpaw corrected Patchpelt.

Willowpelt glared at both of them, and said very quickly, 'Your would-be mother had Cinderpelt reincarnated into her rather than you, so Cinderpaw was born where you should have been and because the reincarnation didn't go right you ended up coming to StarClan even though you're still alive, which is why you age and will probably feel constantly nauseous when you feel older, as the living have no place in the skies of the dead and when one still breathing becomes close to those whose lungs and eyes have stilled, he –uh, they, these old ceremonies need to be gender-neutral – will himself become a plaything of force inbetween.'

Rainpaw refused to let this digest, and focused on something else to prevent it from sinking in irreversibly to her mind. 'But. That last bit sounded weird.'

'It's what Star said. He just talks like that,' Patchpelt told her. 'Don't worry, it's not a prophecy… however much it may sound like an awful, try-hard epic one…'

'StarClan's given us a few bad possible-prophecies,' Willowpelt said mistily. 'Remember when Dawnflower came up with, "Out of the darkness, stars will come, and get rid of the evil tiger and holly?" If we'd given that one to the Clans, then…'

'But Dawnflower isn't a founder,' Rainpaw pointed out. 'Founders do the mystical prophecy… stuff. Like the prophecies… but prophecies would fall uinder the prophecy stuff category…'

Her mind felt like it had imploded and blood was rivuleting through her head; streams of blood boiling and pulsing with disbelief and shock and horror and a tiny, surpressd feeling of relief, that she finally had an explanation, and even if she didn't know what reincarnation was, it still made something, and she could figure it out if she managed to think, which she couldn't manage.

She was vaguely aware of Willowpelt speaking about the founders disappearing and Bluestar taking over their place; on any other day that would make Rainpaw's skin crawl (the founders, they were untouchable pure celestial beings, they couldn't just be taken over by a common StarClanner, it just wasn't right) but she was too busy seething at the ground. Nobody had told her, no-one had ever even mentioned a reincarnation or any connection to Cinderpaw.

'I have to go,' she said abruptly.

The two (mates, littermates, acquantinces, she didn't care) looked at her with identical expressions of alarm. 'Why-?' Willowpelt began, but it was obvious why, and she wasn't going to waste time.

Rainpaw fled, wishing she had the courage to go back and thank them. They had helped her. By confusing her out of her mind and giving her useless information that only made her unsettled in the world she had always lived in.

….

She still hadn't worked out seeing-pools. One day they were able to be seen at night, another day you had to sleep by it to see it, another day you could see it your mind as you slept, with the option of turning it off (which was the most convinient; Rainpaw just gave up on the seeing-pool when you had to sleep next to it and watch). But it wasn't just watching Cinderpaw she wanted to do tonight.

Rainpaw didn't go back to camp that night. She wandered the unfamiliar forest until she stumbled across a seeing-pool. Uncertain of what to do, she tried dipping her nose in it, tried sipping it (which burned her throat), dabbling a paw in it.

Finally, she dipped her nose in it once more, this time murmuring 'ThunderClan apprentice den.' _Well,__that__'__s__not__going__to__work,__that__only__works__for__watching,_she told herself, and when the blurred image of sleeping cats swam into view, she sighed. 'Why am I doing this?' she asked the trees. 'What good's it going to do?'

She stepped into the pool; the freezing water felt like it was scalding her legs, stripping her fur, and her claws- they were so heavy. She hovered around the edges of the pool, unwilling to venture into the deep center, 'Cinderpaw?' she asked the pool; the image, marred with sullen darts of cloud, was only visible on the surface. It felt strange to be looking at the flat, gently moving image from half-submerged in it. She shook her head slightly, and with the scarce motion her paw slipped.

Rainpaw plunged completely into the water, her paws churning madly.

She slid into the deeper center, frantically thrashing towards the surface. The water was even colder than it had been on her nose; it was eating her fur, it was making her muscles and tissue still, it was so cold and so fiery and so much agony and blackness.

Rainpaw floated to the surface.

….

'So. What. I managed to slip on completely mundane rocks and easily drown? How does that work? Do I just have super drowning skill- No.'

The stream of conciousness bubbling from her mouth snapped to a close. She studied her surroundings, but it slid away from her focus; she only managed to see that it was a forest, some blured, interchangable forest.

'…are you?'

The words, caught on the edge of a wind and carried to Rainpaw from somewhere, made her ears prick up. She glanced towards where the sound had come from- the only solid and clear place in the forest-place. A den. The ThunderClan apprentice den, she thought.

As Rainpaw dashed towards it, her instincts dictating her movement- the place was vivid and didn't melt away when she looked closely, it had to be safe- more voices carried back to her.

'Your father, her brother, it's such a coincidence, right?'

'I… I just don't…'

'You're just like her! I can tell you'll be just like her!'

'…we're not the same cat-'

'You've got the same name! Oh, I can tell, you'll be so wonderful to all the cats who knew and lost her!'

Rainpaw headed into the den, and stopped short. Cinderpaw was cowering slightly in the corner of the den, looking haggard and exhausted; a tabby elder she was sure she'd seen before was speaking enthusiastically.

'Cinderpaw.'

The gray she-cat looked up with wide eyes. 'Who-' she began, but was cut off by the elder's speech,

'So marvellous! Such a coincidence, you're exactly the same, you even act the same!'

The words had an instant effect on Cinderpaw; she drew back, shrinking into the corner of the den.

'I need to talk to her,' Rainpaw said shortly, brushing aside whatever was wrong with Cinderpaw. 'Leave.'

'Oh dear! And who are you, little one?'

She unsheathed her claws, but didn't attack. 'You need to go.'

'The rudeness of young cats these days! You really ought to-'

Rainpaw realized why she recognized the elder. It was the pelt and face and eyes; all common, all things she had seen before. Brown tabby pelt, cool amber eyes, neutral face.

But the scent was Bluestar. She realized that now. And it made her want to run and screech and hide. The elder turned to her, and her eyes glimmered mischieveously, like a kit's.

'My name's Mossheart, dearie,' she mewed, her voice sounding suspiciously fake. 'I had a horrible mother, and so I always try to be good to kits! Because I wouldn't want either of you twitching to death slowly in a snow bank because your mother was too caught up in her own selfishness and flights of fancy that she couldn't care less about her kit's survival and no, neither of you would like that, would you?'

Rainpaw didn't breathe.

Mossheart- Bluestar, whatever- hovered at the entrance. Rainpaw skittered away from her. 'I'll leave you two to her conversation…' When she turned to look at them, her eyes were unmistakably blue. The she-cat turned just as silver hairs began to snake up her muzzle, and fled.

'Her disguise…?' Rainpaw murmured, then turned to Cinderpaw. 'I don't know why she left so easily. But I'm not going to bother censoring our conversation. If she wants to fade me, let her.'

'…she left… she's been in all my dreams, and she's been there, behind trees and up trees and I just know she's there hiding in the water when I bend to drink and maybe Cinderpelt drank in a different way and you just made her go.'

'You're me.'

Cinderpaw stared at her, wordless, but clearly not taking her seriously.

'Or I'm you. Or I was supposed to be you, I understand nothing.'

'What are you talking about?'

'You're Cinderpelt, and you took my place in the world.'

Cinderpaw's face fell, and she clawed at the dirt. 'So it was all for nothing. I'm not my own cat.'

'Yes. Maybe. I honestly don't know. And who was Cinderpelt anyway? Nobody told me, and I should have listened more before coming here-'

'So, I'm just a copy of Cinderpelt,' the other she-cat broke in. 'I am just her, and I can't ever be anything else. Right? That's what that- Mossheart- used to say. She was always… like… there.' She gazed into the distance for a moment, then shook herself. 'I'm sorry. I need sleep. I don't get any rest when Mossheart comes, and she always comes and she never shuts up and I can't stop it.'

'Whatever,' Rainpaw huffed. 'Listen, I'm in angst here, so would you please just answer me?'

'I don't know what I'm supposed to say,' Cinderpaw said furiously, getting to her feet. 'So I'm three cats at once now, am I? Why don't I just throw myself off the half-bridge, then all my family could have the cats they wanted? Why did you even come here?'

Rainpaw opened her mouth to snap at her, but her eyes glazed. 'I don't know,' she said softly. 'I really don't know.'

Cinderpaw nodded, slowly. 'Go, then,' she replied, and leaned out to touch noses with her alternate self.

At the touch, everything went black.

….

'Rainpaw! Brackenfur wants us to go on patrol with him!'

…_no_

'Give me… a minute…'

_Moss, what's this moss_

'I told you we wouldn't be able to wake her up easily.'

'We're all going…'

_it's oh founders, what were their names, Berrypaw and Honeypaw_

'Yes. I'm coming. Where's Dad?'

_What_

'Waiting for us.'

'For her. Brackenfur's only waiting for her.'

'Well. Yes. He's waiting for Rainpaw.'

_Oh it smells so good that beautiful smell of leaves and prey and it's not like the smell of StarClan, that used to be all ice and stars and dawn, now it's all decay and _

'We'll be looking for fox traps, okay? Keep your eyes out. Don't look so alarmed, Spiderleg, if the apprentices get their necks caught in one you won't be blamed. Unless it's one you're in charge of. You'll be taking Berrypaw.'

'And I've learned my lessons about fox traps, don't worry.'

_Tree and _

'Honeypaw! Watch this!'

'Get down from there! Dad's not going to like you climbing that, it's too fragile-'

'Dad knows I'm the best at climbing.'

_Whee. _

'Wait- what's-'

_Ugh _

_My paws, they're so heavy, why can I move them suddenly, why do I suddenly have control over _

'Rainpaw! Rainpaw, what are you doing? You can't jump from there, you'll break your neck! Climb down-'

_This should work_

'N-'

….

Rainpaw woke in the cold fury of the water, and dragged herself out with the taste of death in her throat and the whistle of air in her ears. She buried her face in her sodden paws, shaking uncontrollably at the memory of that leap through the air, of those cats and no scent of Cinderpaw anywhere, of Honeypaw's pelt brushing against hers.

_What just happened?_

The alternate world faded away with wakefulness. The mourning disentigrated, melting back into the reality, where Cinderpaw woke up still and terrified.

The whole of StarClan had felt it, even though they weren't supposed to.

The three had been born.

**So. Go review now, because if I don't start getting reviews, this story won't ever be continued. And I'm serious.**


	9. Chapter 8

**So… flamer, what? You're called the Flamer, you say 'Stupid' as if it is a crippling insult and I should go curl up in a fetal position sobbing 'stupid… they said stupid… I shall never recover…', then you tell me I was flamed, you say you're a flamer called the Flamer and you flame, then you say you're going to sign out, (mentioning you're a flamer, in case I forgot) then you do sign out (thank god you wrote your name, it slipped my mind.)**

**WarriorCat99: I'm sorry I called her Mossheart; I've always hated the –heart suffix, but Bluestar must have thought of it under stress, right? So you think Rainpaw is cute. Wait til you see what I'm going to do to her… Break The Cutie is in full effect. **

**RainbowNinjaUnicorn279 Can I just say I love your name? And what did you find creepy? Please tell me, so I can do more of it ^^ Different? I'm taking that as a (large) compliment. **

**shadowcharmerdemon: Thank you for reviewing! You were… my first favourite-er, were you not? I think I sent you a message thanking you, I was so excited. ^^ -sits back to watch explosion- I need another cliffhanger…**

**Phoenixlight13: NEW REVIEWER! You have no idea how happy that makes me. I'm glad you like it. **

**On a recent re-read, I noticed how many consistency errors there are (mentions of Tawnypelt's kits, confusion over the seeing-pool.) Just bear with me, okay? I'm still working this whole thing out,**

**And. By the way. I GOT ONTO THE TV TROPES PAGE FOR WARRIORS FANFIC RECCOMENDATIONS THANK YOU WHOEVER DID THIS THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU IF IT WAS YOU COME TO ME AND I WILL HUG YOU FOREVER **

**UDIUDSBUIFBVUCBDFUXBNB;;;;;;;IBIOEWSIAIBVZXWIOESRIO;HIO;AT4REUSPWU9;P2Q8090EW80WJSZDXM !**

**-looks very dignified- Thank you. –cough—**

**I also need suggestions for Rainpaw's warrior name. If she gets one. She probably will. Maybe. Depends on if she dies before it. **

**If the spaces in italics don't show up, it's because of . I've tried to fix it, but I'm unsure if it worked. Sorry if it doesn't.**

**This story seems to have a jumpy plot and many unrelated scenes, but they all tie together. I swear. **

The night Molepaw died, Honeypaw had just stared. At the wall of the den, at the skinny mouse Leafpool had shoved in front of her, at the way the brambles stayed still and strong no matter how hard the wind hit it. She wondered how it did that, but not for long. It didn't seem like an appropriate thing to care about when Molepaw was soon going to be slowly eaten by worms, flesh disentigrating into the dirt and earth and grass and squirrel shit. She closed her eyes and curled up against his body, shifting away from where she could feel Cinderpaws's heartbeat and ribs.

'I'm becoming a medicine cat,' she announced that morning, as she and her littermates (_but __I __can __just __say __sisters __now __can__'__t __I_) curled up in their nests.

Hazelpaw, who had joined them on vigil, looked startled. 'But- Honeypaw, you- a warrior.'

'A good medicine cat would never have let Molepaw die,' she said stubbornly. 'And… if I do…' she looked pained. 'I can see him again.' Her voice was blunt and unsentimental.

Cinderpaw sighed, probably thinking that Honeypaw would forget her plan as they fell asleep.

Honeypaw didn't.

…

Outside the alley, the streets were a riot of cheap flashing light and the slow hums and beeps of monsters and the click of high heels on the rough footpath,

Here, there was no sound, apart from the irregular drip of a murky liquid from a plastic bag dangling out of a grimy dumpster.

A calico she-cat woke, her eyes shining and wild as she looked around hopefully. At the sight of her muddy home, she sighed and looked deflated.

The she-cat glanced outside her alley, Her ribs jutted out sharply; her pretty blue eyes were hardened once again. She

A tom hesitated at the entrance to the alley. 'Suspiria? Is that you?'

She gave a brief nod, then realized that he couldn't see her. 'I'm here.'

He padded down to her, eyes concerned. 'Why did you arrange to meet me? How come-?'

Suspiria's eyes glimmered briefly. 'If you need to know everything, it's a wonder you've survived this long without pissing somebody off a little too much. And no Scourge to protect you. Sit.'

Muttering something resentful, he plonked himself down on a relatively clean block of concrete. 'If you brought me here just to taunt me, I have kits to feed,' he said bitterly, concern evaporating.

'Oh. Family tom now, is it?' she replied, equally bitter. 'How sweet. Who's the lucky she-cat?'

'Her name is Emillene.' His voice was cold; he was practically spitting. Long gone are the days of young cats joined lightly in uncomplicated friendship; who had no idea that ther lives were not normal. 'She's a kittypet, and the kits live with her and her housefolk.'

'A _kittypet?__' _Suspiria's lip curled. 'You've really stooped so low? Caust, the fearful, loyal warrior of BloodClan, fucking a kittypet?' She shook her head in mock sorrow. 'I'm so disappointed in you.'

Caust glared at her. 'You still speak about BloodClan?'

She sighed, and for a moment lost that tough, relentless look. 'It's my home.'

'Was,' he corrected, and couldn't help taking a sort of delight from the pain on her face. 'It's gone now. Nostalgic, are we? Ah, yes, the good ol' days of-' _Murder, __rape, __thievery __and __betrayal?_

Suspiria focused on the wall above his head. 'The point is… I want to found it again. BloodClan starved, but we were strong, and as a group we were powerful. Now, we're just… petty scum, squabbling over every last scrap of housefolk waste. Unity is what we need. Caust, please.'

_What.__Wait,__what?_'BloodClan is gone. Gone. Scourge died months ago. We're… you've… you're insane. Why did you even bother- contacting me after so long-'

'The stars,' she said softly. 'The stars. I'm a street cat, but I can feel it. The squirrelcats fled when the housefolk demolished the forest, but do you feel what they left behind?'

'Something disturbing in your head,' Caust said slowly. 'These cats have given up on this. Scourge was the one thing keeping us together, and nobody wants to return to what… what we were. It's over.'

He did not add: _And __so __are __we._That would have gone too far, and clearly Suspiria didn't need any more memories of days long gone.

'Go, then,' she said coldly. 'Go back to your lovely little trophy mate and adorable little kits who are going to have their balls sliced apart and drowned if they ever realise that cats aren't meant to be restrained. Don't remember the days when you were part of something.'

Caust wanted to say more, but after a moment he turned and left the alley. Suspira glared after him with impossible amounts of hatred in her eyes, then retreated to the gloom behind the dumpster.

She dreamt of the Tribe.

…

The second time Rainpaw had the dream, (?) she was fully aware, and noticed everything. The carefree look in Honeypaw's eyes as she woke her. The way the sunlight filtered through the tangled bush, catching and glinting on Berrypaw's whiskers. The coarse, scruffy moss beneath her.

'Rainpaw! Brackenfur wants us to go on patrol with him!'

She still couldn't control what she did; Rainpaw wailed inwardly as she bounced through the forest. The tree- the same tree she'd jumped off a few hours ago- was tall and slender in the pale sun. Rainpaw felt like skittering away from it, but her paws forced her to pad breezily past. Her skin crawled.

'-learned my lesson about fox traps, don't worry.'

Rainpaw and Cloudtail padded through the forest. Rainpaw's body was confidently striding, but she had no idea where she was; the fox traps had only been mentioned a few times in the conversations she'd heard, and she had never been interested in just flicking around the forest when there was eavesdropping to be done.

'So, what do we do when we're hunting for fox traps?' the pure white tom asked.

'We keep a look out, tread carefully, and carry a very big stick,' Rainpaw heard herself saying. Cloudtail gave a purr of amusment.

'So find one.'

Obediently, Rainpaw's body led her to the bushes, and she pawed through the rubble of leaves. _Let me out__,_she thought._I __don__'__t __want __to __be __here.__ Please let me out._

Snap the fox traps closed, head back to the camp, eat (this was what Rainpaw enjoyed; in her head she gave several excalations of bliss at the indescribably delicious flesh) and settle to practicing battles amongst the boulders.

She was pleased to find that this version of herself was an expert fighter as well.

While Rainpaw was circling around Mousepaw, ready to strike, something inside her snapped. Rainpaw fell back at the short burst of electrifying pain (that hadn't been there the last time this happened) and she stumbled.

It was so hard to walk all of a sudden.

'Rainpaw? You okay?' Poppypaw looked down at her, concerned.

'Mmm,' she muttered, and it was her speaking. 'Who was Cinderpelt?'

Poppypaw just looked startled, but the gray-and-white tom mewed, 'Rainpaw, what's going on? About a week of your life collectively has been listening to your father ramble about her…'

'Oh this is no good.' She fell back, frustrated. 'I need to go back.'

The two apprentices looked disturbed; Mousepaw fled to the medicine den.

'Um, no…' Rainpaw managed to stagger to her feet and lumber away. 'You don't want to do that.' She hesitantly lowered her head and wrenched at her pelt. It was difficult; her body instinctively steered it away; but a very satisfying smear of blood appeared. 'Just let me go back.'

Because everything about the Under felt wrong; the air was too thin and sharp, the scents were musky and faint, the trees were surprisingly solid and so… warm. Back home, the trees were refreshingly cold.

'Rainpaw!' Poppypaw yowled in horror. 'What are you doing? Stop- oh StarClan-'

'It's founders,' Rainpaw whispered quietly. 'It's founders.'

Her claws scrabbled uncertainly at her chest, beads of blood rolling down, thick bright red and so unfamiliar. Her paw slipped down to her stomach, and the scar was still there.

Memories of Bluestar's eyes, of cold claws tearing at her pelt, of a kit screeching under her own paws and how good it had felt but then how they had ruined it. Those stars. The stars making her pelt shrivel and pucker and peel back and her skin turn red and shiny and blistered. And that scar.

Rainpaw staggered to the camp door, leaving smudges of scarlet on the boulders she brushed against. Then she fell, and it all went mercifully black.

….

The den was bright and pale. Rainpaw twitched in her nest, and her chin instantly tightened to her chest. Fluffy pelt, clean and only slightly damp from falling in the pool. She raised her head, listening to the distant mumbles of the seeing-pool outside. Only one cat was curled up in the den apart from her; Tigerpaw looked as if she had given up on watching for the day, and was sleeping soundly.

_I envy her._

For the first time, she pondered whether Mossheart/Bluestar had been in Cinderpaw's dreams every night. This, this whole alternate universe thing had only happened twice now, and she was already feeling ragged and hollow.

'I'm glad it's happening to Cinderpaw instead,' she muttered, resting her head on her paws, trying to shake how rattled she was feeling. Your own teeth, shredding your own flesh, it wasn't like a dream you could forget about.

She still felt the resounding sting of the kits, the three, in her chest. It had seared like fire, through every cat in StarClan, and despite Bluestar's attempts to stop it the prophecy rang out silent but so loud it hurt ears

_THERE WILL BE THREE KIN OF YOUR KIN WHO WILL HOLD THE POWER OF THE STARS IN THEIR PAWS_

She rose and padded outside. The other apprentices were scattered around the seeing-pool, slumbering quietly. The sky was gray, and the silence had a sound to it; static, low hums, the distant glare of the sun. The images of the seeing-pool flickered softly, the voices were hushed and tense.

Rainpaw knocked her way through them and shoved her nose into the seeing-pool. 'ThunderClan apprentice den,' she demanded, the words familiar on her tongue.

'What are you doing?' Rosepaw asked. 'We were watching Leafpool's-'

A tortoiseshell tom glared at her and swished his tail along her mouth. 'Squirrelflight's kits.'

Sweetpaw looked confused. 'No, they're Leafpool's. Haven't you been paying-'

A few more apprentices began to wake. 'Oh goody, it's the psycho,' Thistlepaw muttered, but Rainpaw ignored him, which was the best thing to do when he was breathing within forty-eight feet of her.

'I need to see something,' Rainpaw barked, pacing slightly as the pool rippled and grew vivid. Scuds of clouds darkened the surface, but you could make out what was happening anyway. Cinderpaw was pacing, looking disturbed.

'The others are all with Squirrelflight's kits,' somebody said helpfully. 'Except Berrypaw, he's hunting. Do we have to watch this? The three-' Somebody nudged the speaker, and he quitened. It was already an unspoken law not to speak of it.

Rainpaw nodded briefly. 'I don't understand,' she said furiously. 'She's, they're, dreams, founders I'm tired…' Rainpaw sighed. 'I need to sleep without goint into some alterna-'

'Is that them?'

Molepaw was standing with wide eyes behind a tabby, staring intensely at the seeing-pool. 'Are they in there?'

Sweetpaw gestured to the pool. 'If you mean your family, yeah. You can watch them-'

'We don't encourage too much remembering of days passed,' Molewhisker broke in. 'Everybody knows this is paradise, and we don't need to be reminded of something we have no need to care about. But it's wonderful to see Molepaw out and socializing! Although he will have to adjust his sleeping schedule, because we sleep in the day! I understand it's difficult adjusting, but this is your wonderful new home forever!'

'Until he fades or rots,' Rainpaw couldn't help saying sleepily, and instantly regretted it. _Please __tell __me __I __didn__'__t __just __say __that!_

'Isn't… the whole point of StarClan to be able to watch the Clans?' Molepaw asked obliviously.

Molewhisker looked strained. 'Why- uh- No! You're here to construct an entirely new life with no challenges! Why bother your eternal rest with thoughts of cats who will one day be as lucky as you? Now, everyone, I think you should go back to sleep. And, Rainpaw? Please could you not disturb the seeing-pool with selfish watching? You aren't the only one who matters! Sweet dreams!'

'Molewhisker?' someone asked. 'Who are the three, and what does it mean by-'

'Don't speak rubbish!'

Somebody had already switched the pool back to Squirrelflight and her kits. Rainpaw lingered for a moment, then returned to her den.

'What was that?' Tigerpaw asked blearily, raising a groggy head from her paws.

'A thing… a… nothing. Don't worry about it.'

'I can't stand that expression,' Tigerpaw mewed. 'I wasn't worrying, just asking, probably to be polite, and I don't actually care about the answer unless it affects me. I wasn't planning on worrying.'

Rainpaw glared at her. 'You don't care about anything that doesn't affect you? How selfless you are.'

'That's the most hypocritical thing I've ever heard,' Tigerpaw shot back. 'Telling me I'm selfish, coming from _you?__' _

'What about me?' Rainpaw snapped, just wanting to sleep.

Tigerpaw shook her head. 'Don't worry about it,' she said gloatingly.

The brown she-cat huffed and lay her head down. Her eyes fluttered shut without her realizing, and she quickly opened them. 'She's supposed to be the friendly, sweet, optimistic, excitable one,' Rainpaw said to herself.

Tigerpaw didn't look concerned. 'I'm not some one-dimensional stock background character who fills random minor roles in your life as an interchangable… thingy.'

'That qualifies at suspiciously specific denial,' Rainpaw pointed out.

Tigerpaw nodded vaguely. 'Rainpaw, what did you mean by talking about Molepaw rotting?'

Rainpaw shot her a startled glance. 'I- what? You didn't hear. You asked what we were talking about-'

'Just to see what you'd say,' Tigerpaw replied brightly. 'Because you're pretty much a pathological lia-'

Molewhisker appeared at the entrance to the den, glaring at them. 'If you aren't at the seeing-pool, you're supposed to be asleep all day. To _sleep,_girls.'

paw rolled her eyes, but lay down obediently; Rainpaw looked terrified. 'I'm, I'm not tired.'

'Your eyelids are drooping,' Molewhisker said pointedly.

'That's… I'm… I can't, I-'

She had slept, but it didn't make a difference. Not when the dreams came and they-

'Go. To. Sleep,' Molewhisker snapped. He'd been so touchy since Dawnbright had faded.

Rainpaw didn't move.

'Shut your eyes,' Molewhisker snarled.

She didn't want to, she couldn't because it would come again and she'd have to kill herself again and she can't she just

Her eyes closed.

'Rainpaw! Brackenfur wants us to go on patrol with him!'

…

That night it almost snowed.

That night yet another Clan cat died. Heavystep this time. Yesterday it had been Mistyfoot and Thornclaw. Silent battles. Silent deaths.

Another cat began to rot, and went to Bluestar for help. He wouldn't fade, even when she tore his stomach apart, ripped his throat out. She didn't want to look at him.

The quiet war with the Dark Forest went on. There were a few fadings, but not many.

In StarClan, life went on sparkly and happy, and nobody spoke about it when cats mysteriously disappeared.

Tigerstar planned.

…..

'Tigerpaw! Rainpaw! Special visitor!'

Rainpaw didn't wake up.

….

'Rainpaw, please stop this!'

'I can't- I can't get the poppy seeds into her!' Leafpool cried over her shoulder to Brightheart. 'If you could just-'

'Let me,' Rainpaw snarled. She felt lighter this time. It didn't feel as if she was sinking into the ground when control switched to her. A strip of flesh dangled from her chest. It hurt more than last time, tearing herself open, but it was the one way out. She had no tree to jump from this time, and she had hated the feeling of that anyway- that frantic rush and the giddy, nauseous feeling in the back of her mind.

'What's wrong with you?' Poppypaw was whispering, looking terrified. 'Rainpaw, why are you doing this?'

…

Tigerpaw sprang up from her nest and gave herself a few hasty licks. She didn't ask what the visitor was, looking distinctly unenthusiastic.

'Is she usually such a heavy sleeper?' Molewhisker asked impatiently.

Rainpaw's eyes opened violently and suddenly. '-choice,' she murmured, then started as Molewhisker glared at her, his eyes glinting with a fierce light.

It was night now, and the stars were pale and cold.

'What is it?' she asked uncertainly. 'Did I so something wrong?'

'Special event,' Molewhisker said, then closed his eyes for a moment and continued: 'A very special big day! Everybody else is down near the rock, waiting! You two should get a move on!'

Rainpaw remained curled in her den, eyes wide. Her chest was dry and whole again. Her head wasn't spinning and light. Her heart was still beating, the blood was still flowing.

'What's happening?' she whispered, still exhausted. The pain in her chest- from both her deaths, and from the Three, and from the pain as control of the body transitioned to her, and the sudden flow of nausea from the sickly-sweet scent and the shiny trees that seemed to pulse slightly when she wasn't looking at them- and she just wanted to go. Leave everything. Nothing was going to get better. This pain was going to kill her soon, and if she was going to die, let it be on her terms-

'Rainpaw! Stop daydreaming, and toddle along to this assembly!'

_Fuck__you._She rose, shaking, and padded outside, sitting on the edge of a large, rippling crowd of pelts.

A ginger she-cat stood on the rock, her improbable blue eyes shining brilliantly, in a mocking sort of way. As the apprentices quietened, she began with, 'Hi! My name is Oaktail, and I've been sent by Bluestar herself to speak to you and train you!'

At the mention of Bluestar, Rainpaw felt her blood frost over. She wondered wildly if they were a thin layer of ice like they were warned about, and would crack if you walked on them, and any innocent little kit walking along her veins would drown, and everything seemed to scare her nowadays and

'As you know, our eternal foes are the Dark Forest. While there is no reason to worry about them yet, some of you will be given the option to battle them in a war, if such an unlikely event occurs. I'll be living with all of you to teach you to fight like a warrior, learn battle tactics, and teach you the proper ways of StarClan.'

The third dream had tipped Rainpaw over the edge. She didn't think she could speak, she certainly couldn't stop trembling or her chest twitching where she had torn into it twice, she felt like hiding from Oaktail, who was speaking with such a happy tone.

'It's actually only me for the first few days, but soon other cats shall come join me! Please don't get up to any mischief while I'm around.

'Now, we'll be in several groups divided by age. I'll be going between all of them, but all of your mentors will be supervising- there's only seven of you,' she observed abruptly. 'Where's the other ThunderClan mentor?'

'Dawnbright?' Molewhisker looked strained. 'Oh, she's… around…' His voice sounded flat.

Oaktail glared suspiciously at him. 'If you say so… now, sort yourself into groups divided by Clan, and whether you're in the younger or older age groups!'

'Does gender count?' Thistlepaw called; at her shake of the head, he instantly banded with Sweetpaw. Rainpaw padded obediently towards them, not quite taking in that they were being trained for a battle against the Dark Forest. A battle. Dark forest. Trained. It just sat on the surface of all the pain and confusion.

Tigerpaw stepped beside her. 'Are you okay?' she asked, sounding oddly concerned.

'I'm… fine, yes,' Rainpaw mumbled as Molewhisker padded over to them. 'Younger ThunderClan cats! Oaktail's informed me to teach you a new move. More complex ones then you've ever tried. We'll begin with a difficult one, just to give you a taste.' Molewhisker's constant narration always irritated her. 'You just have to flick your hind legs up in the air, spin on your forepaws, leap backwards then rear up and strike, possibly with a forward roll.'

The apprentices looked confused.

'It makes sense!' Molewhisker insisted raggedly. 'You just, uh, it's… you'll get the hang of it. Divide into pairs and practice.'

'You're a good fighter. This is completely confusing, so please help,' Tigerpaw pleaded. Rainpaw looked, confused,at her. The white she-cat rolled her eyes. 'Partner?'

'Oh. Sure.'

Tigerpaw stood in front of her as Rainpaw prepared to strike. She lunged her hind legs up, enjoying how it felt on her aching flesh, then twisted her forepaws. She staggered, but managed to remain up, and attemped the backwards leap towards Tigerpaw. She collapsed onto the moss, seething.

'That was pretty good!' Molewhisker said brightly, heading towards them. 'You're an excellent fighter! You'll have this move down in no time-'

'Usually,' Rainpaw interrupted hotly, 'I get moves on the first try.'

The tom blinked. 'Well, yes, but this is very advanced, and it would be abnormal to get it done within your first few attempts.'

She didn't listen. It had to be the dreams, affecting her one skill, the only thing she could take pride in. 'I _am_a good fighter,' she snarled to nobody in particular, and kicked up again.

'I thought this was your turn,' Molewhisker murmured to Tigerpaw, who looked unconcerned.

Rainpaw spun lightly, feeling the familiar rush of elation as she managed a move. She kicked off the moss, and gave the air several vicious swipes, tumbling forward in a hasty forward roll. She glanced up, eyes shining wildly. 'See?' she panted. 'I can do it. I can do it quickly. I'm a good fighter.'

She realized Oaktail was watching, and froze in the midst of her bragging.

'Wonderful,' the ginger tabby said with real enthusiasm, 'that's great. I haven't seen such a fighting talent for a long time.'

Despite her fears about Oaktail, she couldn't help but enjoy the praise. 'Thanks,' she said quietly. 'Can I try it again?'

'Tigerpaw this time, I think,' Oaktail suggested, leaving to hover over the older ShadowClan group.

As the younger white she-cat prepared to strike, the other cats around them hadn't noticed Rainpaw's almost-perfect attack. Thistlepaw and Sweetpaw were giggling and rolling around, licking each other and playfully batting with claws unsheathed; others were focused on the frustrating, illogical move. The older ThunderClanners were standing around awkwardly, a few trying out the attack, most talking amongst themselves. Rainpaw wished they had all seen, so they could congratulate her some more.

The training went on for half the night. Rainpaw tried to use the seeing-pool after they had dispersed, but it was in use of a greater crowd who weren't interested in watching Cinderpaw stir in her sleep. She tried retreating into the forest, but it seemed so sparkly and eye-watering compared to the shady forest of the Clans

(which was strange, since she had never found the trees around the apprentice area to be too bright before, and the woods of below had made her skin crawl)

that she just wanted to close her eyes, but she knew that would lead to sleep, because after the exhilerating challenge of the move she had dissolved back into exhaustion.

The day came, and she curled up in the den as usual.

She managed to keep herself awake, for a while, she was shaking and murmuring to herself and her thoughts were in turmoil, and she had all but given up on dignity, on her previous tactic on never letting weaknesses being shown in public.

The den was dusty and bright. Rainpaw tried to study the moss, how dry it was, how it was a darker, pure green rather than shiny minty silver when you tore it open, but it did nothing to distract her. She flicked her tail back and forth, she studied the complex looping of the thornless bracken, the way the ferns drooped and shifted in the breeze, the way everything subtly moved it you looked at it.

When two cats entered the den, she assumed it to be returners from the seeing-pool. But one bent to speak to her, and it was Oaktail's voice that said, 'Get up. You and six others have been chosen to defend the borders against the Dark Forest. Follow me or I swear by Bluestar I'll fade you.'

'She has permission,' Bluestar added.


End file.
